i really do feel bloated. too much milk. but oh so tasty. here's a transcription of the forensic skit that kelly & kyle did for the class that i was SUPPOSED to be in. it's fantabulous - take a look-see: NOTE: any incorrect grammar is the fault of the actors/writers of the skit. and my incompetance. ALSO: this is only made funny if you know kyle h. and can picture him saying this. he's freaking hilarious. and he's what makes this funny. along with kelly. but i can't picture her saying this, so not so much. WITHOUT FURTHER ADO: Kyle: This class for us was the beginning of a joyous voyage into the sea that is Kelly's heart, and I was just a mere fish in this sea of love. Kelly: I can barely control my feelings right now. Today here i stand with the man of my dreams, and I realize that the world was made for love, and therefore the world was made for us to be together. Kyle: I remember the first time I talked to Kelly. My first words to her were "Hey baby, is your dad a baker? Because you've got nice buns." A moment later she slapped me so hard I had to go to the hospital. This, for me, was the slap of love. Kelly: I spent the next three days in the hospital with him, and when the nurses kicked me out, I climbed up the side of the of the hospital and broke into the hospital window. It was after the fifth time of me doing this that I knew this was true love. Kyle: We only went out on two dates when I realized that this was going to be forever. So, I decided that I better have an insurance that it was going to be forever. So on our third date, I popped the question. She was only a little skeptical about our future and had some cold feet at first. Kelly: But Kyle's persistance eventually won me over. He did the cutest little things, he left 20 messages on my phone each day, he followed me around constantly, he went throught my trash, and sometimes I even caught him looking at me from the house across the street with binoculars. My mom tried to tell me that he was stalking me but I knew he did it all in love and needless to say he won me over. I said yes to his proposal. Kyle: Now we don't have a date set yet, but because we met in forensics class, you are all invited to the ceremony. It's going to have to be soon though because... Kelly: Oh Kyle! You said you wouldn't tell! Kyle: I'm sorry, but I just can't keep it a secret anymore. Do you want to tell them? Kelly: Well you see, we're modern people and our parents were pressuring us to have premarital sex. WE talked it over with each other and decided that it sounds swell. Well, our joy and love for each other brought about a little bundle of joy in me! Kyle: That's right, by the time I get my license next year I'll have a little backseat passenger with me. I'm even going to get one of those "baby on board" stickers for my car window. Now, we've talked to a lot of people and physchiatrists who have told us that a baby is a big responsibility. Well, we've decided that were ready for a new voyage in our journey and a child if the perfect vessel of love! Kelly: Now, financing a baby is a big responsibility, but our love for each other is so over-flowing that we'll be able to give our child lots of love. But, I'm the only parent working - Kyle's trying to find a job but with the economy so bad Starbucks won't hire him. So you see this makes us a little tight on cash and we would really appreciate your donations to what we like to call the Kyle and Kelly Love Charity. Kyle: Now we understand that not everyone in this room can help us bring a child into this world, we understand that you're strapped for cash. But just remember that if you don't give to the charity, you'll spend night after night of eternal hell fire for your entire afterlife. Kelly: Finally, we would like to thank the forensics class for setting us up and giving us the courage to love. And especially Mrs. Shaheen, without her there would be no teenage pregnancy in this world. Spank you. spank you very much.