Wow! Oh my goodness! Yesterday was.......interesting. Landon came over yesterday to play games and tension started to arise. Then we went downstairs and watched over the hedge. It was a cute movie and the tension started to lessen. Then I wanted him to come to Brad's party with me to hopefully make friends with some of my friends, so we went. When we got there, they were watching a movie, so Landon and I sat down, but he sat a little far away from everyone else. And he was trying to fit in and stuff. Then he got frustrated for some reason and laid down under the foosball table, so I leaned towards him and asked what was wrong and he said nothing. This went on for awhile and so I just sat up, folded my arms and watched the movie cause Landon was getting angry and I was getting frustrated with him. Then he started to rub my arm and stuff, trying to get me to look at him, but I didn't. This also went on for awhile, then he nudged me and I finally looked at him. He smiled at me and I gave him a little smile and took his hand, then turned back to the movie. I would look back at him every once in awhile cause he would nudge me and I would again, look back, smile, then go back to the movie. He finally sat up and tried to be happier, but I still wasn't. He was sitting cross-legged and he motioned me to lay down on his lap with my elbows on his knees, so I did and he rubbed my arms and put his head on my shoulder and whispered in my ear, "I love you" I smiled and turned to him and whispered, "I love you too." I was still frustrated and I showed it well. I just had this sick feeling in my stomach and it was bugging me to death! When the movie was over, all of us (Landon, Landen, Emily, Brad, Dallan, Josh, Koree and I) and started to put on nightmare before Christmas. Dallan Challenged Landon to pool and he, of course, accepted! They were having fun for awhile, when someone mentioned the day when Landen Hardy and I made out somewhere at Joshes and Landon looked jealous. He would look at me and said, "You did what?" And I smiled and said, "But Landon, this was after we broke up." And Landon was all, "What!" And I was still smiling, completely embarrassed and it was after that that Landon was getting upset. I don't know if it was me and the conversation or because he was losing, but he looked mad. So Dallan kept winning and Landon got more frustrated. I just kept looking at him and he wouldn't even glance at me. Then Dallan finally won and Landon put down his stick and walked over to where he was sitting and sat cross-legged, looking extremely angry. Then he laid down and I looked at Dallan and said, "I think he's having a bad day." And he said, "Yeah." Then I gave Dallan a "thumbs up" and said, "Congrats on winning." Then went to where Landon was. He had his hat over his eyes and I pulled it back and said, "Are you ok." And he just shrugged. Then I said, "Landon, if you want to leave, let's go." And he said, "No. You wanted to come and you're having fun." I said, "But you're not." And he just shrugged and I said, "Lets go." And he said, "No! We're staying." And I said, "Landon." And he just looked angry, so I got up, went upstairs and went outside. I just didn't want to deal with it anymore. I went to the far end of Brads yard and leaned on a tree, holding back tears cause I really didn't want to cry. Then I heard the door close and Landon came up from behind and said, "I'm sorry Britney" I turned to him and said, "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have brought you if it made you uncomfortable." And he said, "I should have told you. I'm sorry." I told him that it wasn't his fault and he begged to differ. Then I told him, "Let's just go ok?" And he said, "But you're having a good time." And I said, "Not if you're not! If you're unhappy, I'm unhappy!" We walked into Brad's house and I turned to him, kissed the back of his hand, looked him straight in the eyes and said, "We're leaving!!" I went downstairs and said goodbye to everyone and Landen wanted to do this old trick we used to do when we were together and I just couldn't pass that up cause it's fun! So after that, I hugged everyone and Left. The only person I didn't hug was Dallan because I wasn't sure if he could or not what with his mission so close at hand. I went outside and Landon was sitting on the steps and we walked to his car, he opened my door for me and he got inside. We then just sat there for awhile. He said, "So, where do you want to go." And I told him that I didn't care. And he said, "I don't either." Then we both got frustrated and he just finally started to go. We decided to go to Richmond and I took him up to the bottom of face rock where you start hiking and we just sat in his Jeep. It was 10:00 and we had to be home by 11:30. We started talking about things and I started to get into some deep conversation and I started to cry. Good thing it was really dark so Landon couldn't see. Then he hugged me and we just sat there hugging. Then he turned on a song that I think should be our song cause we always sing it to each other. It was "Come what may" from Mullein Rouge (I think I spelt that wrong). He started to sing to me and I started to cry. I felt so stupid! Then he wiped my tears away and hugged me. Then we just sat there and sang and I cried some more! When the song was over we talked and listened to music. We talked about stuff, like what I have been thinking for awhile. I told him that I know he will break up with me sooner or later because it's always me who's the one getting broken up with. And he said that he's always the one getting broken up with too. And I kept saying things like that and he said, "Britney, we have something special. I will always love you and I'll never let you go! I love you!" And he said, "You know what. My parents haven't liked any of my girlfriends. At some points they have liked them, but they have always just not liked my girlfriends. But with you, they always say, 'I just like the girl more and more every time I see her.'" And I said, "Wow! That's sweet! My parents like you too! A lot!" And he smiled and said, "See! It's a sign that we're meant to be together! We both get on each others parents good side!" I laughed and hugged him. You want to know the funny thing, we only kissed....like....4 times the whole hour we were there!!!! That's what I like about our relationship! It's not just about kissing and making out! It's about all of the other things! We can just talk for hours and not have any tension like that! All of my relationships have just been, "oh.....um...I should kiss him now......no.....now! No....wait until he kisses you." But with Landon and I it's just like, "Wow! I could just talk with him without the pressure! I can kiss him any time I want, but I just love to talk to him!" Of course I love the kissing! A LOT! But I just love talking with him! It makes me feel better!!! And I love the tender little things he does! After we talked, we went to my house and everyone was asleep, so we just stayed upstairs and talked, then he had to leave. So I walked him halfway to his car and he said, "Ok! You're cold and I need go to home, so we'll say goodbye here." So he kissed me a few times and we laughed because they were quick and we were shivering, then he left and I went inside. I went to my room and then to my bathroom which is connected to my room and I just sat in my bathroom and just went over the night in my head for a solid 45 minutes without moving! I just have never had tensions just open like that with any of my other boyfriends. And I kept thinking to myself, "Is this really working out? How can we just be together with this much tension? What if I broke up with him?" And then I stopped my self and thought, "Wait! If I can't take a few complicated, frustrating moments right now, how will I ever make it when I'm married?!?!" So I decided that I should just suck it up, because I love him and one night of complication and sad feelings can't change that! So I decided that I'm just going to trust my gut and go for it! So, that was my night...told you it was interesting. ~Britney Francis~