My mom left us. She's not coming back. She got sick of us and moved to St. George with my grandma. She's getting a job there. It's my fault. It's always my fault! No matter what I do I always end up messing up! I have never done anything right worth showing for! My get away right now is caffeine. I've already chugged a starbucks double shot espresso and now I'm drinking a pomegranate rockstar in a champagne flute. My next drink of choice is a starbucks vanilla frappachino waiting for me in my upstairs fridge. And I'm not even a fan of coffee!!! I'm not a good person! I won't get what I want because I don't deserve it! My boyfriends worried about me lasting through the night. He wouldn't even hardily let me out of his car! I love Bryan to death, I wouldn't hurt him like that, but I'm afraid I'll break my promise. But I'll try not to. Why am I even here? Why do I matter? All I'm doing in my life is messing it up!!!! I'm no good! I don't even have that many friends anymore! I'm no good! So why should I stay here!?!?!? I see no point or reason! I don't make dents in the world! I just stand on it waiting for something to happen because I'm to damn lazy to pick up a hammer and start working my way through life! I'll never be anything! So what's the point!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Britney