been feeling really depressed lately. I haven't been myself, I dont even feel like being around anybody anymore I rather just be alone. I miss dan like crazy though, he went on a cruise and wont be back till late friday night. I cant even talk to him cuz hes in the caribbean and it costs 5 dollars a minute to call the US. So that pretty much sucks, everytime i get upset or something funny happens i wanna tell him and then i realize i cant. The past few days have just been awful. Had to go to my grandmas wake and that was so depressing but a lot of my friends came and that meant so much to me, thats whe u know who ur true friends are. Then that night i had to say bye to dan and that was awful cuz i was really upset about my grandma and i didnt want him to leave me so i cried for awhile about that cuz hes my best friend besides elyse. Then friday i just slept and watched TV then we went out to eat with my uncle and aunt and my cousin Lia which was nice. Then on saturday we buried my grandma which was just so sad. It sucks knowing that ur never gonna see someone you've known all your life and who has made such an impact on you ever again. It's one of the worst feelings in the world. Then today was easter and I could have cared less. Easter has always been my favorite holiday and today I realized it didnt matter, i dont care anymore. I've just been so moody. my sister said like one thing to me, she wasnt even yelling but it made me so angry and upset that i just started crying and couldnt stop. Hopefully the rest of spring break is better. Tomorrow my mom and I are having movie night and were gonna watch the notebook, which i will probably cry histerically over. Then tuesday I'm probably gonna be here alone unless my friends actually decide to talk to me ever again since I havent heard from them since thursday and its now sunday?? I dunno, but then wednesday or thursday we're going to the syracuse mall for some shopping so that should make me feel better and then on thursday or friday I'm gonna get my hair highlighted either red or blonde and then I'm gonna get nails put on just for the fun of it. Then I'll get to see Danny, I cant wait. Well writing in this has made me feel a lot better so I'm gonna go upstairs now and lay on my bed and watch a movie.