tomorrows gonna suck cuz it would have been me and dans year and 7 months..last year on that anniversary i was in florida and it was the day we were leaving and dan got his license that day and then july 3rd i came home reallly early in the morning at like 2 and he came with my mom and picked me up and i was so happy to see him and then at like 9 oclock in the morning that same day he came over and woke me up and all we could do was smile cuz we were so happy to see eachother, and then he took me for a ride cuz he could finally drive, wow its so weird how i remember that perfectly, it feels like yesterday. I just gotta stop doing this though, its all in the past. Dan and i aren't going to get back together, he made that 100% clear so i just gotta try and move on and pretend i'm over him. I just hate when he says that in the end it got so bad and it was driving him insane, that hurts me soo much cuz like yeah sure it wasnt good all the time but i was changing to make things better and he gave up, like he didnt care what happened either way..we coulda fixed everything but whatever...ahhhhhhh i hate doing this, i hate making myself feel like I'm too blame, this is his fault too he wasnt a great boyfriend a lot of the time, im not gonna take the blame for it. When i got pissed off or upset it was for a good reason, im sorry if hes too much of an ass to just apologize when hes stupid or mean, cuz if he just did that every once in awhile maybe i wouldnt have gotten upset a lot....ughhhh, atleast mike kohn made me feel better yesterday..he told me that Dan can't get better then me, no matter how hard he tries and hes never gonna find someone that he can just truly be himself around, cuz i know that kid better then he knows himself sometimes...ok im done even im annoying myself with my thoughts..i feel better though, i just need to get everything out in this thing and then i dont have as much to think about,,