okay well someone left a comment saying they wanted me to keep writing in this cuz they liked it and it made them feel better so I guess I will keep writing, not everyday but whenever I remember or am feeling really down like today for example.. I woke up today is one of the worst moods, i cannot stop thinking about dan at all, hes honestly on my mind 24/7 if im not doing something but anyways drove to broadway diner to have breakfast with my sister and dad and what do i do?? I hit another car trying to park. I lost it. I dont even think i was crying because I hit the car cuz it wasnt even that bad and with insurance and everything it wasnt a big deal but just with everything else going on in my life I swear it just all hit me and right in the parking lot I stood there being hysterical and crying..and my dad actually gave me a hug, i havent gotten a hug in seriously like 2 or 3 years im thinking. well anyways we left there after the sherif came and got info and stuff and went to dennys instead and had lunch and then i went home and felt really sick so i fell asleep for awhile then went to visit my brother which was kinda boring cuz i wasnt in the mood. But then I got to see my friends and then life made sense again, no joke. They just make me feel better about anything. So we went up to the carneys house, me, steph, sara and molly cuz elyse and amanda are on vaca and we played manhunt which was fun and then of course I got thrown in the pool with my jeans and my white tank top, lol...now im just sitting here trying to figure out how to be happy. Dan told me he didnt want me to be upset and depressed and shit but its like u dont want me to be because then it makes u feel bad. Its not because he cares about me its becuz he doesnt wanna feel like a jerk and doesnt want people to think hes the bad guy but whatever, i'll be and do and say what I want no matter what anybody wants...well I guess this kinda felt good to vent, if anyone wants to come forward and say who left that message i wouldnt mind cuz its nice to know someone actually understands and cares about what im saying in this thing.