Not the happiest person right now, one second I'm all good and thinking I'm gonna have fun and meet someone new and then the next im crying and wishing dan would even just say hi to me. I know he's a complete jerk for not even talking to me anymore but I miss him more than anything. Fow awhile I was doing really good and now im like relapsing and its not good. I wish someone would knock some sense into that kid. Make him realize that I'm still here and that everything could work out if he just tried but that will never happen, i guess im just not worth it. :'( Well anyways I'll give an update on the past few days.. Friday- My favorite twins came home from camp so I went over there right away and hung out with them for awhile and talked to sara cuz shes going through the same thing I am except I have more hope for her than i do myself. Then we decided to invite a bunch of people over and have a party. yeah so I was there probably half the time cuz I was the taxi of course and had to go all the way out to maine and pick people up and drop them home later so yeah not too fun but when i was there it was a good time..then I went home about midnight and started crying i think cuz I was miserable. Saturday- Woke up bright and early and had cashier training at Aero. I did that for about an hour and a half and there is so much shit to remember I'm gonna die there but then they asked me to fill in so I got to hang up things and so I get paid for like 2 and a half hours or something which is like 16 or 17 bucks..not too bad. Then i came home and just layed around for a bit then the twins and I and some other guys who are just my friends and yet they kinda annoy me went to the movies to see dark water which sucked then we went over to elyses and went swimmin and in the hottub and then right before we left sara and i looked at eachother and we both started crying, we're very emotional people right now and it sucks ass. So around 10:30 we went home cuz I had to be home early for some reason?? But then anyways went home kinda cried again a little bit and then my mom rubbed my back then i went to bed. Sunday- Worked at the carwash for our class of 2007, i didnt have to wash cars luckily I just went up to the church and put flyers on cars and then i held signs up so people would see them driving by..got honked at and waved at by many old men, gross..then i dropped some people off and went home for a second and ralized i got burnt pretty damn bad and now im in soo much pain but oh well..then i went to my dads apartment for the first time since he moved out a year and a half ago, yeah..it was nice inside u could tell his girlfriend decorated everythingggg..but we ate there and then he made us watch this concert thin which bored me and i almost fell asleep but he has a dog and its so cute, if u throw the ball for her she goes and gets and actually gives it back to you, you dont have to try to take it from her she just gives it which is nice..but then left after that went home and packed reall quick then went to some football thing with the twins and elyse and saw jessicaaa and talked to her for a bit...then my sister came and we headed off for oswego..Got there at like 9 olcock at night and then i watched legally blonde and at 12:30 we went to dunkin donuts cuz i wanted a carmel iced latte sooo freaki bad and then i drank it in like 5 seconds flat...then around 1ish i feel asleep.. Monday-Woke up and watched TV for forever then we went to go get some lunch and came back and my sister did some cleaning of her room cuz thats why we went up to oswego..then we went for ice cream and headed back home..Got home around 7 oclock and then had elyse and amanda over and then they just slept over and we opened like 20 fortune cookies and read what they said..lol Tuesday (Today)- Took elyse at 8in the morning to her class and then amanda and I came back and just hung out for a bit then she left and i literally laid on the couch from 10-4 then i took shower, ate and went to my volleyball game and now here i am.. This turned out to be a really long entry but i don care..my brithday is friday and im not even excited cuz im not gonna get the one thng i want..dan..Im so stupid, i hate myself for still loving him and wanting him back..i havent even seen him in 3 and a half weeks..its crazy i went from seeing him every single day and talking to him every single day to nothing..its not fair..i hate how he gets to have a great summer and feel free and do anything he wants when i feel so shitty and i feel like i lost my best friend..ughh i hate guys