Slip yourself into a time
That’s a little more comfortable
A little more gone, is best to describe
Some past
That’s a friend of mine
But never that smile
Eyes that take you in, and take a while
Slow
That’s what you are
I’m glad it ended the way it did
I’m glad it stopped
Someone had to grow up
And the other had to continue being the kid
Nagging at me, something left unsaid
Someone to wish being blessed
While wanting to put a gun to their mutha fuckin head
Bleeding like you’re alive, through the tears
But you’re really dead
Nagging at me, something left unsaid…
time crawls
leaving me in it's sick
and twisted stead
i'm so angry
so lost
all i see is red
eating and eating you up
not the cancer
but the lack of love
if i gave you this
and told you
you have my heart
would you care
could you feel it there
in the corner where you shed your pain
and you can't evolve
can't stay sane
stuck
and lost
out of love
if i held you it'd still be so cold
your lips
your hands
being the man
never too warm
and i feel the burn, like ice too cold
the burn from an internal urge
to leave
exsistence lost
everything relative your heart to mine
appreciate living
i wish i could give you nine lives
trance
hold it there
cash in the sweet
and plain it
keep it real
and just leave
it's so much more sweet
cavernous soul
new places to hide myself
from the cold
wind whips
chilling hands
that reach for someone to understand
capital heart
you breathe with your head
when you're gone
you won't be able to analyze death
lose this number
so I can give it to you over and over again
until sour
wishes turn vengeful
actively sin
see this happiness
with it's painted face
paper thin as faith
but guide me, adrenaline pumping
to believe without seeing
caring for a subtle touch
lead you from the dark
illistrating it's blank
with art
your empathy like sand
transfer to where it's needed
to as desolate a land
you fall
catches you
is sand that cradles you in all
molds around you
so you can grasp the reality
through unclenching teeth
kick me in the gut
it might hurt
but it will be a happy release...
hey miss?
my soul's dying
my heart probably can't take much more
it tries too hard,
to give.
and now it's almost empty.
my tears really don't provide
for me anymore.
my money is spent
and faces turn
I was wondering, do you know where they turn?
If possible could I freeze my heart?
To save what's left?
I thought maybe i'd give it to someone like me.
Lady?
Stranger to me I guess?
I promise to try,
try not to be angry anymore.
if I have to go out,
I'll just leave quietly
I'll whisper and say things that can be nice
I'm hurting, Lady, like you wouldn't believe.
the muscle, my heart
is like on drugs: weak
there's no fight anymore
but lady?
I'm not stupid
there'd be too much to lose...
sincerely thank you, lady.
I can't imagine that you'd sit here unjudgemental
just listening, but I think you know
I just needed to say it out loud
Thanks, it's appreciated
only... lady?
I just wish, maybe someone else could do it for me...
not meaning anything by it, you're a good listener.
Don’t look in death
It isn’t that nice
Look down
There I stand
Still reaching for your hand
Though it doesn’t posses
A soul
I can’t let you go
You’re part of me
My other half
The tears stagnant
They’re there,
Oh believe,
They just lie dormant
My hope won’t accept them
You didn’t go away
Stay with me
Don’t you leave
It’s like ice in here
Maybe it’s the drugs
But it’s like ice in here
My flesh crawls
Skin and red
Would like to teer it
And give it to you
Will it tie you together
So you don’t fall apart?
Will it mend you?
Even if you have broken heart?
Will you hang on?
Attach yourself to life
Cling to it, like a love
Don’t give up
I love you
I love you
You can have my heart
Really, it’s already yours
Just promise me
Goddamn promise me, yeah that’s right
With tears in your eyes
You can cry
But promise you’ll stay and fight
I know you can’t hang on
It’s too much
Pain overwhelming you
But,
For me
A little time?
How do I prove to you
That I love you?
You already know?
I know you do
But it’s not good enough for me
I can breath, I can think
But I’m just pretending
I won’t let you see me slip
See the tears never fall
You say
It’s okay, it’s okay
Be strong.
I am!
Goddamn, I am!
But only for you
I can be strong if it’s for you
But not for me
Without you I’m nothing
Don’t say those are lies
You bring the best in me
Give me reason
To endure this life, and keep living
I should go home!!
You need to stay
The world will be less
It will be less
Do you hear me?
I’m nothing
And if they miss me
It’s only I was good for you
I tried for you
They liked me for you
I did it for you
Just stay
Or trade my place
my soul invites you
to stay
near where its warm
and you're safe
i know who I want to take me home
the guilt didn't arise
though i know it's not that
certain love in his eyes
i know he cares
without a doubt
it's really there
wish i could huddle you close to me
just tell me if you need saving
I gave up once
I promise not again
so lets lie close
and close our eyes
together maybe it will
be easier to suffer their lies
hope you don't get cold
with your feet so bare
I have the love for you too
it's warm to know you care
like reality is so much
less bitter
congratulations this is
the only poem that has ever been
genuinely happy
kiss your cheek
by this you preserve
the innocence in me.
the little drops of blood are soothing
me
when the come together
and it just adds to their beauty
i want to rip my veins
feel real pain
want to break the skin
put patterns in places
if you put patterns
you just wont live
take a knife and hear
it teer
tell someone yeah
i've been there
it makes me light headed
my heart leaden
soul too good for you
the paperweight
masterbates the papers to come to you
it sits heavy and serene
on thin cream
with words out of my mouth
like a dream
severe your beauty
and I want to cut cut
bleed
and lick it up
but i can't something holds
me to the last
recognize your intentions
and set them free
don't plan what
you want to mean to me
i'm sorry i'm so mean
sorry so rude
that i'm abrasive
that i'm a little girl
and a fool for you
sorry i'm immature
sorry i don't stay out of things
i care too much
i think too much
and i love
sorry for everything
sorry for me
sorry i'm not good enough
sorry i bleed
better yet
sorry i breath
sorry you can't stand me
sorry i didn't do it
sorry and i'll sit still
sorry
i have this
ringing in my ear
sorry i just want someone to love
sorry i just want someone to love me
sorry for just about everything.
doing drugs with my friend chrish.... shshshshs shhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!
you retract your breath
i can't feel you yet
it's too deep
i sit
wild
scraping my knees
so i can't stand
can't walk that distance
to where you're my man
but we generate heat
and in all my heart
in my lungs
i can't breath
pressure building
no release
the drugs just eat and eat
and eat
you cannot go back
you're so lost
your memories flat
inhale
you squirm
notice me..
that i scream
faking you are my ecstasy
in hellish moments
for you i phene
like drugs
they teer, it burns and i promise
not to hear
but your'e convincing
with your awesome power
and your extensive reach
just slap me
I promise not to scream
the blows are mellow
i can't feel you
you see red and i see yellow
the sun bursting in my eyes
but I hide in shadows
you cloak in lies
so separate me
pull it apart
mend secretly behind my back
like it's your art
pretend you're still this way
i'll cradle you till it
goes away
your fantasy is
to devour me
in thoughts pitiful
and in the end you lose
you say 'oh my god' i have a short fuse
i don't believe you
you're nothing to me
and i sit
solemn
just comtemplating
your existence
for whom
you love only yourself
and it grows in volume
swallow your poison
i don't need your trust
there's simply no one
for whom i lust
and your morbid
eyes spitting fire
wonder if you were genuine
what'd it be like
to hurry you
into reality
would you then forsake me
i don't care
it's a shame we breath the same air
but i think again i'll just
pretend
that our worlds again will mend
that i'm here for you
but in the back of your mind
do you believe such lies
like youre really a good friend
would anyone really stand by you in
the end
i think you know what's true
that people simply
tolerate you
so slit your soul
let it gush
to run to your side
and help, i know i wouldn't
be in a rush
say you're painful
like the memories
like you rolled yourself up
to protect me from you
and you melt like you were never cool
but always frozen stiff
same
youre the same
from your empty truths
to you, endless blames
your smile
is fickle
broke me when it came
i'm sorry to say,
youre the same
my name burns your mouth
so it fades
on lips rancid
with lies
and pain
so you feel cornered
and drained
but you
with your apathetic teeth
that teer away
my heart stays
as you stay the same
far away
i'm sorry to say
same
you're the same
it hurts the way you do me
like it's more important than
what's got to be
and the sand slips
endlessly
and wishing your tears away is fruitless
we can't have this
and i antagonize,
but it's you
im sorry for me,
for i'm harsh and true
girl your my backbone
but really i guess im yours
i love you with all my heart
and you look down in scorn
loved to call you my best friend
knew we'd make it till the end
but i just don't godamn know
anymore
every ounce of me is pitying
i hate the way it rails
screaming to my head
no answer
no avail
so lose it all the way
wished we werent like this
i give you my all
i insist
but baby girl
because you're my best one
you make me want to slit my wrists.
we tidy ourselves
drapes thrown
and ive pain from you plenty
but i've grown
if you kissed me
i might die
but i cant get close enough
to truly look you in the eye
because you're repetitve
in your approach
always tightening your grip
and never slow
so i bury what i know
in this heart that grows
like stone
and cold
i've known long enough
but its already become old
a keep sake
that's hideous
that wonderful moment that's
really a bust
so i pretend i've slit my wrists
turning inside
until it's bliss
for the morphine to edge the fire
keep it in before it turns into
desire
and i liked you more when you were fucked up
could stand you stupid and your ways
dumb
but i've fallen away so near i'll hold you
but i don't say a word you hear
youre unfailingly
failing me
from your crooked smile
to your one way reach
my expectations dip and swerve
and then they altogether flee
Hey all you fuckin pussies, you can read my diary or not it's your decision but if youre going to leave a fuckin comment like freak, leave your name or diary because all it says is that youre a little bitch
soft
even when you pound me
tenderness
a little love can be healthy
i want to sip you in
undress me
and i will whisper your name
say it louder if you promise
just to stay
body shivering
from the chills you make
run up and down my body
i regained that faith
it doesnt have to be this way or that
hard and sad and nothing else
soft
and i got it from you
i would walk blindly into a raging fire if
you told me to
that's the kind of trust thats true
but these chains that bound me to you
will never rust
or change their hue
because this moment has happened over
and over
again here
until we fade together,
melt into eachother
this will be near.
soft.
enthralled
by how easily you'll spit in my face
disregard your girls
for the thrill of the chase
and you resume
to loving us once again
trying so hard just to laugh
so you can live
but then,
with a sudden burst of creativity
you fathom new ways
of hurting me
and let me tell the world
how they sting
but no one's perfect
don't know who i'd turn to if i didn't have you
though you throw it in my face
with that blazing heat
and I hope you didn't mean
it when you made me bleed