its my birthday im sixteen and im not like all thoses other stupid broads that need icing on their cake and a dozen roses from their boyfriends. i have a boyfriend (man i hope he doesnt read this) yeah ive never really even said that, hes cute ya know and nice and cool but we dont do anthing and thats cool thats what i want but maybe hed be a better friend? i dont think he even likes me i dont pay enough attention to him and hes still sweet and oblivous. god im dead and alone with no one to hold and only one that i want but cant have and if i have it i wont want it. no one even knows how i am i only think one person can get me and i wont give up yet but maybe its hopeless and im waiting for nothing but i have nothing else and thats all i want so do i give up cuz i have nothing to live for and then i think no u couldnt do that your torn and broken and discolored and sealed off from the world and i dont lokk like anyone else inside but im still beautiful in my bitterness and uglyness and i love to feel so painful like this cuz its real and i love ya know so much it never faded but im damaged and hard but im here and your the only one and there will never be enough but its OK OK??? thats all night and be beautiful with ugliness...