how sad and aching... I miss someone sleeping with me. It used to be my best friend, we'd cuddle and snore and drool on eachother. those days are over, a rift has come between us. Not like sexually sleeping someone. Like surrendering a little bit to the vulnerability of sleeping next to someone... to hear them breath. In some ways, in some situations sleeping is more intimate than sex. Then someone, no less meaningfull, but meaningfull in a different way and I had to learn how to be comfortable all over again. I miss the closeness of where that used to be... everyone makes new friends... and I find myself more involved with these friends, more myself, more love, more trust... nothing they do can turn me away. Well nothing THEYD DO ANYWAY... but you see they're just truer friends as weird as that sounds and even though I can kiss and hug them... give them my terms of endearment... I don't feel the same closesness? every moment you come into yourself more and more but sometimes how I've grown doesn't feel like progression. what happened to those younger teen years when it was okay to hold hands with your best gal and sob on her shoulder when your boyfriends broke up with you. i'm not reminiscing... I had a point somewhere. I just miss someone in my bed, the smell of them... getting too hot... moving the covers to one side so you can still be close to that person but cool down at the same time. I'm just saying the innocence of sleeping with somone isn't innocent anymore. Ya know when your curled up beside someone, turned on your side and they're in back of you... ya know... and you can feel their breath on your back, it tickles but you don't want to tell them because it's so damn delicious. fetal position