beth and i drove around to get estimates on hotel sweets. she brought me roses in second period. suddenly this all seems so meaningless. i went to salzers today to buy a cd... and i was watching all the sad looking emo guys... because well they're just sexy. all that pain. but it's overdone, why don't you tattoo i tried to commit suicide last thursday on your forehead. i'm just bitter. so i was going to buy a cd and i stopped myself... from buying chevelle or breaking benjamin or coheed and cambria or interpol. i didn't get one because it makes me sad. because it rings so true from the melody to the lyrical progression to their message... and i just agree so wholeheartedly with them that it breaks my heart and i never want to leave my room or turn off my stereo. i'm happy. ignorance is bliss and if i ween myself off my music... stop playing my guitar, stop singing, banging on drums stop finding that perfect band with their wonderful imperfections... if i stop, everything moves much more smoothly. but i'm living a lie.