what was i thinking when i smiled? i knew it'd leave so abruptly and frustrating i know we have more than chemistry and the words play back to me until i know the worlds out to get me the endless image teers me to shreds numerous all in the corner where i hide my face in my hands i feel this, i hate it i can't live with this inside my soul so i won't look and maybe it will go i thought i could survive anything but can i survive me? the endless nights of remembering the days of hiding my face behind my hands with my makeup, my smile everything i'm not forced to have its way upon me so violently gently the disgrace eats me.