seems like forever since I needed you in me something despairs held for you cradled in my secrets love you more than you've ever felt can't tell you too much guilt for the way your eyes am I undeserving placing me in this abyss if only i were left in the ditch where I can't crawl out but there you are strong not wanting to let me fall so much unsaid what's going on inside this head for the way you'll never know but let me just let this unfold in that sanctuary where I'm sacrificing my heart see look it's bleeding only for you this time and raw and blind and imperfect like they never told you it'd be unknown grown too worn for the games I have to use to get you and then you? How? and why me, am I here is there some external beauty that you see in me that makes you need me sexually you can't like me I'm too, too jaded lost now and deflated so you see how I have to understand every heart that's left it's brand etched in brown across my mind leave me bitter from time to time after all this he is still here wants me near but I don't ever know what I want and he'll never be what I thought I'm just a little sad like the weight of the world please push me away and hold me let me stay in this comforting, hugging you, not wanting to i'll be okay okay just a little sad...... I could never figure out why it was me.