so when you love someone truly, or think you do... no but when someone makes you genuinely happy. Real happy. and they go, they just take a part of you and decide to leave... they're gone. that fake love, that knowledge that you'd do anything for someone... it's done. it's history. how do you make it stay in the past? I would've taken the inevitable beatings i would recieve, the words... maybe not. I don't know, I'm not crazy. for the first time i wasn't tempted by other things, for the first time i was happy, truly. but he's ignorant, he doesn't know music... I BREATHE MUSIC, IT'S IN EVERY CREVICE OF ME AND HE DOESN'T GET IT... do you understand? He dropped out of highschool junior year, he listens to COUNTRY!!! COUNTRY!!! he doesn't enjory the lyrical process of a song, he's racist he's a PEICE OF SHIT and i still had the "stupid smile" on my face. BUT NOT HONESTLY I NEVER LOVED HIM, I KNOW WHAT THAT REALLY FEELS LIKE,BUT IT WAS GOOD YA KNOW? REAL GOOD. THE ONLY THING DIFFERENT ABOUT HIM THAT WAS NEVER TRUE FOR any other guy WAS THE FACT THAT HE CONTROLLED ME... IN A WAY. he had the most say in my life. why am i even talking about this. i'm falling asleep at the computer... my head hurts i wanna have someone sleep in my bed. to be next to, for warmth. I'm not really the cuddling type but i always like someone in my bed just for warmth and hugs and kisses.