Stealing every breath

by damned
Feeling: daunted
12.18pm We've started an in depth study of the sermon on the mount at church today. I knew we were starting it because the minister talked about it at the member's meeting but today was the first sermon. I love the sermon on the mount. Challenging, but encouraging. Great way to remind me how lacking I've been recently, God. I have come to the point where I don't care who I like anymore. It's so many guys now. I've lost count of how many people I'd like to have as my new, perfect, idealistic boyfriend. So I have come to realise that I might as well just like them. And that's it. Nothing will come of them. You may say that something will, but a lot of them won't if one of them will. So I am going to just accept these feelings for people. To repeat the sentiments of my last entry, acceptance is a fine thing. I don't know why in some ways I hate change, and in other ways I love change. For example, with the pews in church. We are maybe turning them to chairs, and although I want our church to update so I do want them to change, I don't want to because the pews have been there for my entire life and I am comfortable and secure with them. Then when it comes to things like my diary, and I know this is a small and pathetic example but still, I want to change it all the time because I like it when it's changed. I don't like getting used to my layout. It makes me smile when I come to my diary and I see a new layout I like. How sad. The world at its worst needs the Church at its best.
Read 10 comments
what religion are you? just thought i'd ask, you seem to talk about it a lot.

and go ahead and like people. as many as you want. i've found its easier to like a lot of people than just one.
i'm not sure i regret anything, i've from from my actions, but i don't think i truly regret anything. regret doesn't get you anywhere.
yeah. this one didn't work out at all.
but its ok. i think i'm going to be ok.
in the long run. of course i'm going to be upset about it now, but i think i'll be alright.

and go ahead and talk about your church. no one is telling you what to write about in here.
i was just curious as to what religion you were.
i fell in love. but hell, i'm only seventeen. i have my whole life ahead of me to find someone to fall in love with and not have to worry about it ending. if you have to worry about it ending then its not meant to be.

like the nmbc song "i guess its not to be."

and sorry if i seemed like i was attacking you. i was in no means trying to do so.
Ah. Well, therein lies the difference. Very rarely does anyone ask me what the hell I'm going on about. And if they do, I say I'll tell them later, and they eventually forget all about it. So it works out quite nicely.

And I also have a love/hate relationship with change. I love changing little things, like my sitdiary layout and the layout of my room, but other things like changing my bedspread or changing grades I cannot stand.

~Katja
well i guess if you have friends, you fit in, right?
Would it be mean? No, of course not, I certainly can't blame you for being curious. But often, my explnations tend to leave people scratching their heads more so then they already were.

Ah, but your interpertation is entirely right. I didn't literally catch fire...Mostly cause that would really suck. But yeah...I like someone.
A lot.
I can't say if I suprised you or not. But I tried.

~Katja
ya and all my conclusion means is that i have way too much time on my hands.
I have a weak stomach, and even overeating a little bit makes me feel physically ill.
it sucks because I do it a lot, and it just makes me wonder if it would be so sad if i never ate again. not in an anorexia sense, but in an avoidance because i have no control.
blah i am rambling.
yeah...definately