8.00pm Sometimes I guess you've just got to let go. Got to accept that however much you like them, they're never going to like you. So you give in. You try and forget about it. But how can you? How can you just drop something like that? I guess I can't. I guess I'm not that strong-willed. Feeling unnactractive when you're around him is one of the worst feelings. It's painful in ways I can't describe. When you have those days where you know that your make-up doesn't quite look right, and you know that your hair is screwed up. I know it seems completely materialistic, but those kind of things can make or break my day. In fact, even my underwear can make the difference between me feeling great and me feeling awful. Right now, I feel awful. I have no make-up on, I have a rather large spot and a new brace. However, my hair is relatively Ok. Does this even matter? No. It doesn't. And I shouldn't care. I shouldn't care more than I care about anything else. But I do, and that's the problem.