4.45pm
Being honest with myself, I'm never going to get a fucking backbone.
Right. Deal with life, Raz. Deal with the fucking fact that you're impossible to trust and impossible to forgive. If I could say I'm sorry without annoying people even more I would.
There are some new things in my life. I would say I refuse to annoy people anymore, but I have no control over that. Firstly, I must value my friends higher. The fact that this even comes up shows how little I think of other people at all. And I need to start, because it's losing me my friendships, which actually mean quite a lot to me. Secondly, I lose the brainlessness that seems to accompany my actions half the time. You know that look, cover, write, check thing that you use to have to learn spellings by. Well now it's stop, look, think, decide. Yeah?
Also, why the fuck am I writing this? To make people like me now? Too fucking late, bitch.
Why does it rain on shit days?
Why do I swear on shit days?
Why am I always so blinded by selfishness?
I was trying to revise Geography earlier but drowning in my own pathetic self-pity seemed more fun.
Ok, more honesty. Susie: I'm really fucking scared of you. Haha. And I wish I had your honesty with people. They know if you're bothered with them, you have the courage to be who you are. And somehow you manage to keep on track with doing the right thing. You battle through your feelings. I pretend to be all fucking high and mighty, when really I have no faith left and I just want to leave right now.
(And why oh why does Will Young have to come into my head and make me laugh now? WHY?)
Gemma, Zoë: Yeah, I'm scared of you too.
I'm scared of fucking everything.
Honestly? I want to meet a boy who no-one knows, who likes me and I like him back. I want it to work perfectly. But Becca has that because she deserves it. Because she's nice to people.
Paranoia means fuck all when it becomes reality.
John 8v12
I think I might stop writing random shit now.
i hope you had fun at salsa
xHUGx