There comes a point in time where things take on a different tint or hue when compared to everything else. The flavor of life starts tasting differently and unfortunately for too often becomes bitter and the sweetness is far too rare. There are fewer finer treats and the ones that come along are not for me to ever savor. Again I get into one of my bitter meloncholy moods when I have nothing to taste, nothing to give, and almost nothing to do about my situations in life. How can I feel so impotent when I, as a person, could do anything with my life yet I feel that I squander my precious commodity somehow. I do know that at least I'm dragging my carcass through what I need to in order to have a career which won't destroy my soul and leave me a useless husk of hatred when I'm elder. I made a fool of myself the other night when I met a really pretty girl. My friend and her friend were in the hot tub, and the pretty friend of my friends' friend was sitting away from everybody and not saying anything. So I mentioned to the friend that she's too quiet, and she thus mentions that to the pretty friend who asks if I want to converse. She glides through the water right up near me and says just as plain as day "So what'cha wanna talk about?" I, being completely awestruck by her beauty and brazenness, just sit there and drool and procede to make a complete fool and ass of myself like I do when I find a girl attractive. Why have I not any skills to talk to girls? How can I have gone all these years and still not know how to mingle and flirt harmlessly with the opposite sex? I need a trainer or something. I'm what they call a pathetic loser with no game. Maybe next time it'll work out better.