3:32 PM Another dream last night. The ominous creature from the previous dream I had returned to haunt me again. This time it was after I read an article in the Oshawa This Week about a murder in Pickering. It caught up with me like in the last one, and threw me into the air, shouting at me because of my desire to do something, but my lack of action. I hit and ladder, toppled down a fire-escape staircase and fell over that onto a dumpster. Made me wonder whether or not it really happened because when I woke up I was really sore. It continued to scream at me and eventually started changing its shape, and when it stopped I found I was looking at myself, wearing all black, with the Batman t-shirt I was wearing the last time I updated. It told me I should've done something, and beat me down again after mentioning my lack of action, and continued thrashing me with its bare fists until I could take it no more, and I woke up. What this means is beyond me. I honestly don't know what to think about all this anymore. I've spend from my last dream until yesterday searching for answers, and whenever I did I ended up reading about vigilantes, or watching a movie about one, or reading a Batman comic I had laying around. I don't know how I ended up doing that, I just did, and when I realized I was I couldn't help but wonder how I got there. I wish I knew what to do. Because as of right now I'm officially lost. And I feel completely helpless, useless and I can't shake the feeling that I can't do anything right. And I'm pretty sure I have a hearing problem. And I really want to see Nathalie. Her dad died yesterday, and she's pretty shaken up about it, and I wanted to spend some time with her and comfort her, but she couldn't get out of work, so she's there while I'm here. I visited her though, only for a while, just to make sure she was okay, and she told me that she was. So I'm not too worried about her, but I'm still concerned about her. I can't stop thinking about whether or not she's okay. I just wish I could be with her all the time to make sure that she's okay. To be her guardian angel to make sure nothing ever happened to her. But I can't do that unfortunately. God I feel helpless. But I told her I loved her when I left, and she told me she loved me too, which is helping to make up for this feeling of helplessness and uselessness that I can't shake right now. I really wish I had the answers. I can't seem to find them anywhere, but I keep trying nonetheless. I just wish I knew what to do. About everything. And I wish I could see Nathalie. I love her. Sooooo much. But I miss her. Reeeally bad. I don't know what else to say really. I could go on and on and on about absolutely nothing, but I guess I'll go. I managed to get out of work today, so I'm going to have to find something to do to take my mind off of all this thinking I can't help but do. Gah. I miss Nathalie.