As much as I hate complaining about anything, its beginning to affect me that I can never get anything out. First off I'd like to mention how much of a screw up I apparently am. Firstly, I can't seem to do anything right by my parents, by my little amount of friends, by my co-workers or just anybody in general. Secondly, I don't seem to be going anywhere in particular. Probably just die. Thirdly, and lastly, and definately least important, my incredibly bad luck with women. And I know that right now you're thinking all I do is bitch because I'm lonely. Well, is it so wrong for a guy to want companionship? Is it so wrong to not want be lonely anymore? I know I won't find a decent girl for a long time, but that doesn't change the issue that I am completely and utterly alone. Why do you think I'm so angry and bitter and cynical all the time? I am the shoulder to cry on guy. People come to me all the time with their problems and junk because I'm apparently a good listener. Well, it's high time I need someone to listen to me instead of bitching at me. But nooo...people can't take it upon themselves to listen to me at all. I'm nobody. I could die tomorrow and nobody would give a flying fuck. There, I said it. A few crying family members but that's really about it. Do you think anybody at work would notice? Nope. Anybody else from anywhere? Nope. And those who do know me think I'm a jackass. People tell somebody in confidence what I may have told them, and it spreads like wildfire. And soon stories become twisted into rumours, and then everybody gets it in their head that I'm some worthless sack of shit that isn't worth their time. Now at this point half of me wants to just end my life, while the other half wants to kick down their front door and scream in their face. But that's my problem I think. People assume that I'm an asshole merely because of what somebody heard. Has anybody ever come up to me to find out if the stories were true? Nope. So a seed of dislike and hatred is planted, and soon it spreads like a virus to everybody else who hears the story. But its not like anybody will listen to me at all. They smile through their teeth at me whenever I walk by, and curse me behind my back for reasons they don't have a fucking clue about! FUCK! I am sick and fucking tired of all this Goddamned bullshit! I wish I could line every one of those people and punch them in their fucking teeth. Maybe after I knocked some sense into them they'll actually take their heads out of their asses and see me for who I really am. I shouldn't be so Goddamned angry. I shouldn't be so cynical. I shouldn't delight in destruction and chaos. I shouldn't want to punch everybody in the face. But then again, that's what I apparently need to do to get noticed at all in life anymore. But with so many harsh and ignorant people around, it often makes me seriously consider seclusion. Like moving away to some boring little town where no one knows me so I can keep to myself and cut off the rest of the world. The world doesn't care about me, so I shouldn't have to care about it. Its hard to admire anything anymore when I just don't care. I simply do not care anymore. That's it. That's all. Until people start giving me some Goddamned respect, which I strive to earn, I just don't care. That's it. That's all.