A tout le monde, A tout mes amis. Je vous aime, Je dois partir. These are the last words I'll ever speak, And they'll set me free... Megadeth: A Tout le Monde 7:30 PM This song has pretty much been the expression of my feelings for the last while. Normally I'd try to keep those hidden, but its all coming out now. It has been a rough time for me. The girl I spoke of in the last entry really likes me like I thought, but there's one catch to that whole situation. She got herself a boyfriend, and he doesn't like me all that much now. Well, normally I'd say "the hell with this guy" and keep it up anyways, but I felt enlightened and put them before myself. I told myself to let her go, seeing as how pursuing her anyways despite the boyfriend and forcing her to make a choice between him or myself would be very selfish of me. And it is really. So I've been teaching myself to let go all this week, and teaching myself to become content with the way things are, and also to move on to other girls and the like. Well, my first attempt at happiness got all shot to hell. I met this girl at work, and we definately liked each other, but once we actually started talking, somebody (who to this day still remains anonymous), called her up and bitched her out hardcore, merely for talking to me. So she decided that she didn't want to be in the middle of whatever was going on, and hasn't talked to me since. So when I find out who did that, they'll regret it, that's for sure. So naturally I moved on. I met another girl, and we started talking quite a bit. When it seems like we're on thr right track, I hear a rumour floating around that she and this other guy are now dating. So yet again, I meet someone I really like and she's gotten herself a boyfriend. Now I discovered the other day that the rumour wasn't true, and the guy who is supposedly dating her talked to me flat out about it, because he found out through a long list of people that I liked this girl. He told me he hadn't made up his mind about whether or not to date this girl, and that either way, me and this guy would still be friends. He also seems to think, and has also heard through the same long line of people, that this girl likes me too. Its all so damned confusing. Sometimes I'm not even sure what to do about all this, but I just keep myself focussed on this one girl and hope that it'll get sorted out. Because there's nobody else I'm thinking about really. But meh. Whatever happens happens right? I certainly hope things work out for me this time. Because looking over the past few entries and remembering how I felt while I was writing them, it'd be nice to have a truly happy entry for once. Just once, that's all I ask. Maybe things will work out. Just maybe...