i have changed, no every second though. just this last month... i admire the person i used to be. so inocent, years ago. but i'm real now and it feels good not be numb. i was for soo long. and man, its like frostbite. when your thawing out it stings and your black, but you can feel, you can feel. so you know it's okay. i know someone whos numb, if i were him i'd just want everything to go away! i know i was there. and it hurts like hell under the morphine. it sucks not to be able to cry. this guy. i wish he'd let me in. i don't do this often. i don't get into other people's business and try to fix things. but he's such a waste of a good thing. too good. someone just needs to tell him that. but not me. how do i tell im that i've been there done that? you can't tell that to someone who's dying inside, theyll spit in your face... i know i would've. no one is the same as another. i know that too well. life is sometimes best lived on morphine; not feeling pain. but he's so goddamned beautiful inside, i don't want him to hide. but you must know one thing my intentions aren't skewed. on a different note... one more thing to add: yes he's gorgeous and yes there's not much better i can do... a&f status but thats not what does it for me personality depth space; i dont like to be smothered creative temper; must have; i like the passion i need someone to be unlike everyone else i know exactly what my unconventional mind desires i want soul; not just some gorgeous peice of ass hanging on my right arm surprise me and i'll love you i hate when people ignore me like you do.... when youre mad and youre always mad but i know you love me