So the truth comes out. He never liked me, I was his fuck toy. He says that's not how it is... but it is whether he likes it or not. I was the rebound. I guess so was he, but I gave him so much time and energy, I tried to make him happy. I was just a way for him to get over his ex. Now she's strolled back into his life, even though he said for sure it's over no matter what. THANKS BRANDON McCRACKIN, you fuckin ignorant red neck. I've been in love too, believe me but I wouldn't have used someone like this. He says he liked me, that it wasn't how I think it is... but that's bullshit. Part of me thinks that he's being nice to me, granted not that nice to me he did tell me to shut up and talk shit to me, but anyway part of me thinks that he's being somewhat nice to me just in case things don't work out with Gabby. And ya know the fucked up part about it?? If he tried hard enough I'd go back, maybe. I've had so much better, I don't know why this aches so much. God, FUCK, I had KYLE...DO YOU KNOW HOW IT FEELS TO BE WITH HIM, LIKE EVERYTHING FUCKED UP IN MY WORLD MELTS AWAY LIKE THOSE EYES CHANGED ALL MY PAIN. FINALITY. it felt like finality.......... AND WITHOUT HIM, NOTHING, HOLLOW EMPTY SHELL, FUCKED IN A WHOLE. God I fuckin loved him with everything I have I still do but the thing is I wouldn't go back to it, he's such a good guy, smart... he's everything but it wouldn't be fair to us, either of us, we'd just be revisiting old wounds. HE'S MY DEEPEST CUT. But I'm over it in the best way you can get over something like that. It's been a year. BUT THANKS SO MUCH BRANDON FOR GIVING ME ANOTHER LITTLE TASTE OF KNOWING WHAT IT FEELS LIKE FOR SOMEONE TO RIP THEMSELVES AWAY FROM YOU, THANKS FOR HURTING ME AGAIN. I NEEDED IT SO BAD. THAT TASTE OF PAIN AGAIN. KYLE WAS MY DEATH, YOU WERE A SCRAPE.... but goddamn it still hurts because I don't just get to move onto someone else like that i have to sit here with old demons coming to get me, and no one to hold me. but you're a peice of shit. you're uncultured, not open to new experiences, I've had guys like you, don't know why you were different. I think I just liked to be near you, to feel protected you. but you're a loose canon, ready to blow up your surroundings... you fuel the flame, you'll fight anyone for any reason. Everyone says that it's the grace of god that you got me, but you never knew me, what I could offer you, what doors I could open. I would've unclenched your fists... but you're too goddamnded ignorant. I would've broken up with you sooner or later. It just hurts that you love her, and I still want you guys to be together so you'll be happy. It hurts that I was never even close to enough for you... that you're such and asshole, and I gave you kindness, and you throw it back in my face. Just like that it's over, because I was never anything. Just nothing.