I've finally just got through all the chaos in my mind. My eyes are on fire. My head feels like it's going to explode. I know my effort will be useless. I understand you hate me. The whole time I talked to you I felt like you were waiting for me to say something more... I wish I had what you wanted to hear. I can't breath. I never realized how much I fucking have it in for you till now. I swore, after one of my ex's cheated on me, to never do the same. I wish it hadn't been you. I really badly wish with everything I got it wasn't you. But it was and the tears I promised not to cry over ou keep coming. I'm sorry that my attempts to explain myself are so pathetic. As much as this is going to hurt me to say this- maybe this was meant to be. Because I'm really not this kind of person, though I showed you otherwise. But as far as fate maybe this is a sign for you and Gabby. Brandon, I'm so sorry. I can't believed this happened. I'm so fucked up. I want you to be happy even if it's not with me. I don't think it could ever be with me. So I'm letting you go... you're already gone. I'll miss the way you smile when you know you've said something cute, I already miss your kisses and the way you seem to be that only one that can hold me right. As fucking corny as it sounds it just had to be said. I hope that at one point you returned my feelins. I don't know. This is my closure I guess. I hope it didn't hurt you. I'm so fucking sorry Brandon... I don't like him, there's nothing there... we both know that and I hate myself. I wish you knew how I feel. I wish I could make you see. Whether or not you want me, you have me. -Jenna