i just can't comprehend why people don't care. alonesness can be someone's disease and yet no one will befriend that person. God and it's not like i'm a good person, i'm just not thoughtless, careless, heartless... have a little compassion. i've been blond for a while now, no not stupid but literally my hair color is blond now, and my hair is kinda short. I get a lot more attention now, maybe i look better... but all i know is that long black hair suites who i am as a person much better. I miss it, weird I know. I'm wondering why i'm not sad right now? i think i should be, my life is going down the shitter. I want some codeine, some vicodin... some weed. just some weed, sit back with some popcorn and apple juice and smoke like the forest is burning. Mary Jane... I love you. ha ha... :( i wish i was more high. everything is tumbling in on itself, school, the law, my parents my friends, boys: especially boys. everytime i meet someone new, they are all wrong and of course i learn the hard way. always have to listen to my stubborn self and no one else. but i freakin open my heart and my mind and soul to people too godamned early and i get fucked the fuck over... over and over again. oh and i guess it doesn't help i'm a nympho and can't go without sex for like a month... but no seriously i'm kidding (it's been a while... but shhhh don't tell)