I miss John Okrazewski. I don't know why but I miss hanging out with him very badly, I see him just about everyday and I can't even look at him. Our breakup didn't even end that badly, we even talked occasionally afterward but all of a sudden time went on enough to where I don't think I could call him again or hang out or be anything at all. it's ok. timeless ugliness rancid words dripping down your unclean throat volatile and exposed right down to your bones dreams of shadows never see things in the light how they should be put in your pockets trembling hands betrayal of the worst kind to that deep and ignorant hurt you've got to bind if it weren't for the rough and abrasive things jaded interventions from people who don't believe your hands pushing back my hair tracing my face holding on hard till it falls into place your face closing in on me not being able to see trusting you so godamned blindly hands that supress anything bitter whoever knew it wouldn't be love but a best friend I found in you