How can i study and make plans for my future, when i am not sure i want to stay around for it. Our world disgusts me in so many ways, we are so inadequate are existance is so that we will eventually come to an end. The other day at the hospital someone came in with a severe wound and wasn't coherent, he was most likely going to die... see we work so hard to preserve life... but ya know what I thought about when i knew he was going to die? I thought for his family, friends... people he loved and loved him back. who cares if you die... what makes you worth while are other people, the love that made you exist to more than just yourself. I wish so many things but that's just messy.