Had my interview this morning at 10:45. I had to litteraly drag myself out of bed, then i got ready really fast i didn't even have breakfast and i left. I didn't show up late at least. So this lady was just asking me all these questions, and i didn't know how to answer most of them. I mostly responded with yes, no, maybe or i don't know. So she was all like what the fuck is wrong with this kid she acts like she really doesn't want to be here and doesn't care about anything. It's like a pain to drag any answer out of her. She didn't say that but that's what she was thinking. And i knew, and she was wrong though. But i couldn't do anything about it. That's just how i am. I just, can't. I don't know why it just doesn't come out. She asked me "how do you feel?" and i just couldn't tell her. I just shrugged. I just can't open myself. I just really can't and i don't think i ever will. So she said she didn't think that i would be suitable for whatever they're doing so i said ok and i left. I really wish i was still a baby sometimes. Noone would ever ask anything of me, and as soon as i felt the slightest discomfort, i could just cry and scream and someone would come running to take care of me, and just hold me. That's the best feeling. Feeling safe and loved.