Fucking V day... It ruins everything. Remember that ex friendboy of mine that i stopped talking to when he had sex with V? Well officially his name is asshole. AH for short. Here's the whole story. We've known eachother for a bit more than a year now, and at first he had the biggest crush on me. He used to call me all the time to come over and stuff, he was always trying to kiss me, and he asked me out all the time, but i would just turn him down and act really untinterested. After a while we became good friends, even though he still liked me, we would hang out all the time, watching movies at his house, but we never did anything, until one evening where we both got drunk and he really really wouldn't stop trying, so i finally let him kiss me and we made out for about 10 minutes until i stopped him and got really angry at him and forced him to take me home. Anyway after that our relationship just got stronger. We never made out again but we were getting pretty close, which, of course, freaked me out, and i started to back Way off. I wouldn't talk to him as much and kinda subcontiously try to get him to not like me anymore. Anyways he moved in at one point with a roommate, and we all got high together, and i started flirting with the roommate and stuff, and so AH got all pissed off and went to bed, and so i ended up sleeping with the roommate. We didn't do anything except cuddle, even though he tried to kiss me. But in the morning AH walked in on us cuddling and stuff and i saw That look on his face, i think that was the moment that i realized that my feelings for him were much stronger than i wanted to admit, even to myself. It was just a look of total disgust and disappointment, but mainly, just sadness... the most horrific look i've ever seen. So, he didn't call me again for 2 months until some mutual friends of ours were going out and he was gonna be there. At first he didn't want to speak to me but i just gave him that smile he loves and pretty soon we were back to our old ways, flirting and cuddling and joking around with eachother, it was the best. V was there, and she was supposed to be sleeping over at my house that night, but when AH asked me if i wanted to come over, i said yes on condition V could come too. He said ok, and so we all went over to his house, and started watching movies, and i fell asleep on the couch. So AH told V, you wanna sleep in my room? she said ok, and... you know the rest. I could here them all night long fucking. It made me totally sick. So first thing in the morning i left. I was so mad and angry, but i didn't even know why. All i knew was i never wanted to hear from either of them again. V called me for the next week, apologizing on my answering machine, saying she didn't know how i felt, bla bla bla, which was true actually because i never talk about my feelings to anyone. So i finally forgave her, and the whole thing actually brought us much closer. But AH, i was going out with some friends the next night, and without my knowledge, he was there. I glared evilly at him for most of the night, he was trying to get my attention but i just wanted to stay away from him. Finally when we left, the car we were taking had a flat tire, so we had to wait around in the freeze for CAA, so AH asked me if i wanted to go have a beer while we waited. I said ok, and he told me all this stuff like i'm so cold and i hide myself, that i'm not able to talk about my feelings. I said nothing because i knew that if i even opened up my mouth i'd start crying. So he said "how do you feel about me?" and i just said "i don't feel anything." So he said whatever, you're too shy. And like that i just watched him write me off. And that hurt. But i knew that whatever we had was now over. I was half expecting a call from him after that but it never happened. A week later was New Years, and again i was going out with the same friends, L, V, L's bf, some other people, and AH. We said hi like there was nothing, i got drunk, flirted with him alot, but it wasn't the same thing. At midnight we were the first to hug eachother and we hugged for a really long time, and after that when it was time for him to leave i hugged him goodbye, and he held me, and it was just magical, but it was bittersweet. i just wanted to tell him a proper goodbye and that was it. I knew it was the last time. He never called me again and i never ever went anywhere with friends where i knew he was gonna be. That was a month and a half ago now and i was starting to get over him, mostly. But now, he called me last night. On FUCKING valentine's day. I was actually with V and she answered the phone cause i was putting nail polish on. She was being a bitch to him because she knows how much he hurt me and everything. She was saying "why do you wanna talk to her?" "what is this concerning?" and he was getting angry and started yelling at her and shit. Finally he hung up. I felt bad so i called him back. All he said was what are you doing tonight and i said we were gonna hang out with some guys, and he sortof scoffed, and he said ok, bye, and that was it. But now i'm going crazy. I can't stop thinking about him and all those stupid feelings i had have come rushing back. i don't know what to do now. Now everything is Ruined. Stupid valentine's day. Stupid asshole.