I finally got the job at CCG's cafe. I've been working there since monday. It's pretty crappy. I can't describe the level of unhappiness i feel when i am at that place. I don't know if i'll be able to stay there much longer. CCG is in toronto or vancouver or some other faraway city for a week, so i don't know, maybe when she comes back it'll be a little more fun. Probably not though. i could be in some sort of tropical paradise wearing a bikini doing the same job, i still wouldn't be happy. Actually it'd probably be worse. I'd be doing dishes and cleaning and smiling and saying please and thankyou while everybody else is sipping on mojitos on the beach. ANYway... i worked at my "good" job last week and at the end of the week the new schedule hadn't been made, so i asked the manager what the schedule was like and he said he'd call me during the week to tell me. I haven't had a call yet, so i called this morning and he wasn't there, so i'm supposed to call back later. I've been fired so many times in my life that this horrible fear has come over me that they've fired me and didn't even bother to tell me. Just like they did at Subway, actually. But at the same time i think i'm doing a good job, it's not very difficult, but maybe i'm Not! I'm so confused and fucked up, i'm afraid i'm just not able to keep a job at all, and no one thinks i'm good enough. It's just one rejection after another. Like i applied to work as a bank teller a while ago and they called me back and interviewed me. I thought the interview went pretty well, but they called today to tell me i wasn't chosen. I'm not even surprised, though. I knew there was no way i could get such a good job. They said the reason was that i was lacking customer service experience, and i didn't seem that interested in the job. So... It's funny though i was really interested. i've never been more interested in a job in my life. But whatever i'm used to people misunderstanding me. So basically what i'm saying is that i hope i'm not fired from my reception job, because i've never been so happy working. I hope i can stay awhile so that i can gain more customer service experience. And also because there's this REALLY cute guy who comes to the gym and he talks to me all the time. I told him about the whole moving debacle and he was all concerned and stuff. He says he's going to look out for some places downtown for me. He's really really sweet and he's all nervous when he talks to me, but then i am too cause he's so cute. I'm really hoping he asks me out soon. His name is MC. He has the dark hair and the blue eyes that are SO sexy,... i dunno thinking about him makes me melt. it's pretty fun liking a guy so much. Especially knowing that he likes me too. I'd be so sad if i lost the job, i'd never see him again... p.s. i forgot to mention that i saw T again. Yes i know it's awful. There was this party on friday and V invited him, so there was nothing i could do. Then for some reason that night he called me like 6 times. i didn't answer at first but at the 7th time i had to. He sounded all sad and pathetic and so i told him i'd meet him at the party. Anyway he was being an idiot the whole time, but i'm glad i saw him that last time, because i finally saw him for the manipulative jerk he is. So... that's it