I want to jump off a building. Just spread my arms and jump. I don't think I've ever been so depressed. Even cutting is beginning to look somewhat appealing. I don't know what's wrong with me. I know some things that are making me depressed, but I don't see why I feel so horrible. I've had a bad day. Last night I got called to drive for my permit, but since I had a neurology appointment I couldn't do it. So its going to be forever before I can get a permit, let alone a license. When I got to the neurologist, some freak kid, probably about 4 or 5, kept saying "hey" to me. I swear to god he must have said "hey" 200 times. And then he was touching me. It was not pleasant. I didn't get home till seven thirty. My appointment was at 4:20, and I didn't get out of the office till probably six. I desperately wanted a Cappucino Blast, but yet again we couldn't find the Baskin Robbins. And then my mom said "well I can get you a mcdonalds sundae if you want" and that got me super craving a mcdonalds sundae. But of course, there wasn't a mcdonalds on our side of the road at all the whole way home. Life sucks. And I have a writing test tomorrow that I'm not really prepared for. Luckily I consider myself a good essay writer. I didn't do any of my homework. I just can't be bothered. A year ago I would be freaking out if I hadn't done my homework. But now I really don't care at all. I've stopped worrying about school so much. I realized that if I do what I want to do I'll be poor. So I have to find a new career option, and then design my own clothing line on the side. I've got to eat you know. And I'd like health insurance. I rather like going to the doctor when I'm sick. I have to pick a new book to do my english project for, and I've only got two weeks left to finish it. GAH. How high would I have to be above the ground to jump to an instant death??? If only if only...