so i'm waiting for this test to end so these lighter days can soon begin i'll be alone but maybe more carefree like a kite that floats so effortlessly i was afraid to be alone but now i'm scared that's how i like to be all these faces, none the same how can there be so many personalities so many lifeless, empty hands so many hearts in great demand and now my sorrow seems so far away until i'm taken by these bolts of pain but i turn them off and tuck them away till these rainy days that make them stay and then i'll cry so hard to these sad songs and the words still ring, once here, now gone and they echo through my head every day and i don't think they'll ever go away just like thinking of your childhood home but we can't go back, we're on our own, oh but i'm about to give this one more shot and find it in myself i'll find it in myself so we're speeding towards that time of year to the day that marks that you're not here and i think i'll want to be alone so please understand if i don't answer the phone i'll just sit and stare at my deep blue walls until i can see nothing at all only particles, some fast, some slow all my eyes can see is all i know, oh but i'm about to give this one more shot and find it in myself i'll find it in myself