Oh my God! My God this can't be happening! God tell me, tell me this isn't real! i can't believe all that I have foreseen is finally happening. I cannot for a single second stand the way I feel. I always knew. I always saw it coming. Enveloped now, encased by my worst fear. I've never felt the nausea of longing to feel nothing, I never wanted to cease to exist, just disappear. Fear memories are all that lie ahead. Never have I felt so lost. Memories dull my senses. Fear tragedy is all that lies ahead. Never have I felt so dead. Once felt so warm, no I'm fucking freezing. Ii am the once embraced abandoned one. I raised my eyes up to the light in hopes of finding healing; no relief was mine, I was burnt, by the sun. This all seems pointless. Why does any of this matter? Answer: it doesn't. Yet I lack the courage to end it. And it makes me hate it that much more. Pretending that I never knew her won't make it so. Reliving what we had won't bring her back. And I wonder; what will become of me? I'm lying to myself and this dagger is my excuse...