I huffed down a bottle in record time of an hour. I wouldn’t even have realized it had been an hour if it wasn’t for the can running empty. Throwing the can away, I can’t help but to think how much I’m wasting my life. Wasting my life in record time. It wasn’t always supposed to be like this. I had plans, I had dreams, I had ambitions. I have no idea where they went. Probably in the garbage with the can. I have given myself an intervention a couple of days ago. If I don’t, no one will. A lesson I learned from life I wish I hadn’t learned so hard. Today, I was complimented on how when I walk, I walk with such confidence and poise. All I could do was give a half way smile. If they only knew. If this Intervention doesn’t work, I don’t know what will. This front is getting over played. The smart ones already seen through it and just play along. The others keep putting me on this pedestal. I’m tired of getting just the sloppy seconds. But I feel that’s all I deserve. This ‘relationship’ is causing more harm than it should. But somehow, I feel I deserve it all. He said he feels conflicted. If he only knew.