I acknowledge my faults in myself, and I know how I choose to deal or suppress them isn’t how it should be done. But I continue nevertheless. It’s my lack of confidence and troubled past that’s keeping you an arms length, which keeps me worrying with fear to why as you don’t answer my calls. Even as I repeat to myself that nothing is wrong, you’re just busy. I stand so closely to the edge and because of my lack of confidence and troubled past, I don’t believe myself. I pay attention to every detail of myself and try to change the ones that don’t get your approval. If I don’t perfectly meet up to your standards, I drown myself with fear and guilt. I’m consistently on that edge. Because of my lack of confidence and troubled past, I can’t seem to genuinely believe your words and promises. Even as you repeat them to reassure me, and somewhere deep inside my heart I know that they’re real and that you’re real. You have to understand, that because of my lack of confidence and troubled past, this wall will take time for you to climb. But because I stand too closely to the edge with you, I drown myself with my faults, repeat your words to myself and reassure myself that they’re real and so are you. So I make sure that all you see is me just smiling, reassuring you that everything is fine.