I need to stop feeling sorry for myself. Why are the simplest, insignificant habits that drive your life in the wrong direction are always the hardest to kill? My mind isn't and hasn't been in the right place since I can remember, and I always thought that was the reason for making me interesting and fascinating. But for awhile now, its making me feel I have the mind of a failure. But there I go again, feeling sorry for myself. With all this free time on my hands I should be pushing myself to accomplish something, or at the least begin. Instead, I'm putting in effort to distractions and ignoring the long run. But no matter how much I analyze and understand the wrong in that, nothing changes. I don't change. No body can destroy me better than I. And with all this free time, and meaningless effort. Thats exactly what I'm doing.