I always feel like I’m suffocating. I’m afraid to breath, think about all the germs in the air! It’s disgusting! So I try to take little breaths, thinking (hoping) that I won’t acquire any germs. I can’t commit 4 years to college when I barely made it through high school. It’s not that I didn’t enjoy it or do well, it’s just that I don’t have stability. I’ve never had it, well, maybe once, but I f*cked that up, just like I f*ck everything up. I’m so sick of living at home, but I know I can’t do it on my own. Every time my parents start to fight, they say that they’re “getting out” or something…. There is no way in hell I’m staying in that house longer than I have to. I apologize to Dwayne for the way I am, but he just doesn’t understand ..and sometimes, I don’t even think he tries. I can’t help I’m like this. “You are your environment.” I don’t want to be like this but I don’t know how to change. I didn’t ask, or for that matter, want to be born. I was a mistake, a horrible one. I wish that no one made mistakes, then I wouldn’t have to worry. Because I wouldn’t be.