Why am i in school today? ....wait...i remember...i have 100 point projects due tomorrow and monday....my grandma past away last night....and i didn't even cry when i found out....dwayne and i went to visit her yesterday and she was really bad....she said "tell them to come back some other time..." and i immediately started to cry...i just had a feeling this was the last the last time that I’d see her…..It was a feeling…all the other times she was this ill, I didn’t cry… I knew she wasn’t leaving us yet…but she was soo bad yesterday…she was trying to go to the bathroom and pappy kept asking her if she was done…..it was unbelievably horrible to see her like that…I totally lost it and went up to pappy and said “I have to go” sobbing uncontrollably….and I hugged pappy, which I NEVER do…and I think I hear the tears and sadness in his voice when he said okay…I then made Dwayne go to see mom because I wanted to hug her and tell her to quit smoking because I want her to be alive to see her grandkids….and to tell her that she didn’t lose me, I just left to get away from the bullshit…surprisingly, she understood…. I think she needs me right now, but I’m not there…I’m not saying I want to live there again, I’m just saying that my mommy needs me….she just lost her mom…..grammy used to baby sit me all the time when I was younger…I have so many memories….her and mom used to talk for hours about everything…we all used to play 500 rummy….the bell just rang.