our baby shower is in two days! i can't wait! i feel so bad though...my mom and pat are spending so much money on this event...i don't know why. They could have planned a much cheaper shower...what i feel really bad about is that i'm so mean to my mom, but i can't help it....i wish you guys knew just what i meant when i say that she's really annoying! she's so obnoxious and i just dont know how to handle her....i was talking to holly today about how i am to her and she said that it's probably my hormone level or something....and we'll just blame it on that...i'm so happy that she's happy about her grandson, but the really sad part is....i dont want her giving our son nightmares! you should see the way she is around my cousin austin, she's a COMPLETE nut! i'm so serious, and another thing, she smokes and our baby is gonna be totally smoke free and i know she's not going to quit smoking in her house when he's there....for goodness sake, she couldn't even keep it away from her own kids...i just dont know how to be nice to her with all of this...another thing, she put in for her vacation around my due date so she can "help out" and when she says help out she means like taking care of the baby ....when what i really need her to do is let me and dwayne bond with our new baby. and she can do the dishes and things like that...i don't want her there taking over, how am i supposed to learn with her doing everything? i'm so honored to have her there to offer to help i just wish she would have let me ask her, instead of volunteering herself without even asking me or my husband first. I know she wnats to be there when he's born, like in the room when i'm in labor, but i only want dwayne and the dr. and nurse and i dont want her to get all pissed about that, which i know she will...and the only person i want to be around when i breastfeed is dwayne, i'm just so concerned that she's gonna be (to put it bluntly) up my ass, cuz that's gonna create a fight.....which is definaltly not what i want....but if it's the only way to get across to her...moving right along...dwayne's dad is most likely gonna be in wyoming (30 hours away) when his first grandchild is born...which really really bothers me...but at least dante will have all his other grandparents there.....unless of course i have the baby on the 8th or 9th or the 25th or afterwards...which is not very likely considering i'm due on the 20th..... i had a dream he came on the 17th, i'm gonna play the freakin lottery if my dream comes true...i also have a feeling he'll be born at like 3 or 3:30 in the morning! please no! i've been thinking alot lately, i dont think i want any medicine...i'm strong enough to do it without being drugged up....of course i may change my mind with i'm actually going through it.....who knows...well, i'm done chatting now..catch ya later