ok well anxious isn't exactly what i'm feeling.. since i just realized that school is approaching me ever so quickly...like in a week... i've suddenley gotten that feeling of a procrastinator...who said they would do their work, but as the due date approaches...hasn't done it. its a weird feeling. is this foreshadowing for things to come? i hope not. i mean i've finished my summer homework (twice, read a book "Bless Me Ultima", for me, a pleasure) i guess its the fact that i don't have any new school clothes (not tha ti ever get any, anyways) or any supplies...or that i still haven't found that schedule they sent me in the mail damn it! lol... err uhh... hopefully my mother didn't throw it away. my parents have been much too busy to think about my boredom, or that school is approaching. j/k. i have a feeling though, that if i didn't tell my parents that i had a doctors appt, or that i had to get such and such papers in to go to school, or to go to camp, they wouldn't do it. they are certainly not your typical scottsdale mom that will do everything for the kid. i've talked to my mom about, and she says that later in life it will greatly help me. well i know that, but i'm a kid and i don't always need to worry about appts and such. there have been times where i've forgotten about an appt, and my mother yelled at me...even though she made the appt? sometimes i wish she was the kind of mom that packed my lunch (she never did do that) signed me up for things, etc. i love her to death, and i know that all this indepence stuff will help me later, so that when i do live on my own, it won't be such a shocker, but still... i wanna be cared for like alittle baby! waaahhH! ok enough of sounding like a spoiled brat. (i don't think i am one... no i probably am. wahhh!) i'm s upposed to go out with chels today (yay chelsea!) and i prob should call her...probably...heh heh heh. well ehh i'm kinda hungry, althogh i'm trying to eat healthily, cuz in the past year i've gone from a size 3, to a size 4, and then a size 6...its kinda disgusting...i saw apic of me in a bathing suit from camp... i almost hurled. its not like i had flubs of flat on me (which i do.. ins ome areas) its just that i'm wide. and i know, blah blahb i'll give birth to healthy strong children... but that mattered back in the old testament days. w/e i'm just ina "i'm ugly mood' probably cuz i'm soon to see chelsea (gorgeous) but NO MATTER! this is what a diary is for! to vent your feelings? but i just called chels and i need to run! in 20 min i have to be ready,a nd i ahve no shirt on and my hair is wet! ahhh!