well its finally raining. as crazy as my life may be right now, i'm having a good time. but i get panicked thinking about how close i am to graduating. i just can't believe it. i feel like there are so many high school experiences i have yet to have, but i have no time! schoolwork has been insane. i'm so stressed out, but i've also kind of stopped caring. i hope thats not too bad. lacrosse is going very very well. we're meshing as a team, and we've won our first three games. although i've been injured a bit so i haven't really been able to play, last night i started and played the whole game and even had a pretty sweet goal. so we're pumped. i've also started to get accepted to universities. so far U of A, USC and American U. its nice to know someone wants me. i want to figure out what i'm doing this summer. i know i'm going to israel but i feel like i need something else too. i feel so mature, like i can accept things as they come much more easily. i credit all thats happened to me in the past year as kind of molding me. i guess i can see now why everyone was saying 'these hard times will make you a better person' and what i thought was crap like that. now, i know if i don't get accepted to a university, its not the end of the world, whereas that hadas over a year ago probably would have freaked out. i know that no matter what, life goes on, i still have my family and friends, and i still have myself, and thats the most precious thing to have. not college acceptance or scholarship or lacrosse game can match that. i may get all caught up in it, but if i remember to just step back and see the big picture, i'll be OK. this summer i'm going to israel to see my family. my grandpa is getting really old, he's already had a stroke and so i'm scared that if i don't go now, i'll never see him. i'm going to record my grandparents stories about WWII, being around when israel became a country and just other random things. i miss my family. so this boy that i met at the nfty veida. its weird how well we mesh. and we still constantly talk even though we live so far away. i wish we lived closer. i wouldn't be surprised if we were to date if we lived within like 3 hours of each other. its bittersweet i guess. but as much as i like to say 'of course this type of thing would happen to me' once again, step back, and see at least i have a really nice guy to talk to whenever i want to just vent, someone who is completely removed from everything. mmmm arizona is so thirsty.