if you're a guy, you might not want to read this. always before my period i get so pissy. just not happy with myself or anyone. and my family from israel is intown, my aunt and cousin. now i love them to death, but spending so much time with a 14 year old who doesn't act like one, who is clingy, slightly annoying, doesn't think much before she talks gets you a little ticked. plus spending so much time wiht your family in general. really. since we're showing them around and taking them shopping (they're form israel)we haven't been at home much, so it doesn't feel like hanukkah at all. for me, hanukkah is as it was when i was like 10, every other night we'd be at friends house with lots of menorahs (or chanukiahs) and singing and eating and fun like that. and if not, then at home, just wiht the family, infront of the fire. but this year its more, a burden to light the candlesin between all our events., and i don't like it that way. i hate going to try clothes on when i don't feel good about myself. i just felt fat and ugly the whole time i was walking around. yuch. and then i wasin abercrombie, just looking around, and someone says a big "Hi" and i look up at its c.c. castleberry. ok she knows who i am? and she was with britany calbert (from lax) they're friends? weird, but sure! and then the funniest thing, seriously half the team was in victoria's secret, alyse, julia and keri. us badminton girls really like that victoria secret hahaha. tomorrow i'm skipping out on our little trip to sedona. (ahh! peace!) it'll be nice to just chill. i like it this year, nearly everyone will be celebrating something tomorrow night. christmukah! yay! oh yes, some questions, what does santa claus have to do with the birth of jesus? christmas trees? the lights (my family was tlaking about this, hanukkah is the festival of lights... why don't we put up lights? i think we are going to...we used to have these little paper bag candle thingies) there are technically (i think) two different religions that celebrate christmas. the ones who are really celebrating the birth of jesus, and the other wones, the americanism religion who just do the pagan traditions. oh some exciting news, that none of you will probably care about. i've been playing debussy's arabesque #1, and it has a 2 vs. 3 part (thats duplet (eighth note)in the left hand at the same time as a triplet in the right) to any of you with any musical inclination, its a little weird putting them together just right. i've been playing this piece for months, and avoiding practicing it because i couldn't get it. and it just came to me last week. an epiphany! now i can't stop playing it and we spent my whole lesson working on it. i went to see the nutcracker last night! it was sooo beautiful, and makes me mad at my mother for never letting me do ballet (she said i just wanted to do it because of the pretty costumes) but i don't think i would've succeeded at dance had i kept going. happy 5th night of hanukkah!