what am i what am i i am an overstuffed suitcase where if you drop me i will burst i am the most fragile of ice sculptures, touch me and i shatter i am an overacheiving 18 year old who is being told to decide what to do with the next 5 years of her life...now. can i be 5 again? can my parents decide for me? i'm 18. how the hell am i supposed to know if i can handle 50k in debt. i'm so stressed out about school and work and other stuff and college. and then i realize it doesn't matter and then its my entire world, then i feelguilty for even thinking about trying this whole college thing. i hate it. i hate how unfair life is. i hate how if my family had more money, there would be no question. i hate how because my father has an accent and wasn't born in the USA, he can't make much more than he does. i hate it. i feel selfish. who gave me the right to think i could shake up my family life just because i want to go to some pricey school. who the fuck. what the fuck. you all want something of me. you all want me to be someone. you all...but i don't know me yet. i don't know me. i don't know whati want. i change my mind every hour. get me out of here but don't. make me stay but let me go. good things hadas. you're worrying about good things. either way you'll be fine. shut up.