someone called me from taylor's phone tonight. i don't think i ever had his number in my phone, so when i called the number back and suddenly hear taylor's voice on the answering machine, kind of freaked me out. i'm guessing it was his mom or something because i ran into her at the grocery store today. i run into her a lot, more than most people run into each other. it seems like every 2-3 weeks i see her somewhere. she said it was fate that i was meant to be a part of her life. sometimes i'm not sure if i believe in things like fate, and although i feel really bad about it whenever the burgstahlers tell me about how our homecoming picture is eerywhere, or things like what she said to me, i feel like i have some kind of responsibility, some kind of task that i'll never be able to fill. maybe that of keeping taylor's memory alive? i don't really know how to do that besides think about him and keep his picture with me. i'm excited to start working on monday. i'm so bored, even though i have so much i could be doing, i only tend to accomplish things when i'm really busy. so i can't wait to start being busy, and of course, get paid. i'm starting to get the feeling that time is running out. i see people and think that this might be the last time i see them. i think my mother forgets that i'm only 18. i know that my maturity level is higher than most teenagers, but she forgets i have not experienced nearly as much as older people who i act like. today i went to send a bunch of packets to all her students, and it turned out to be really expensive, supposedly because i went to one of those mail stores, and not the post office (how was i supposed to know there was a difference? i always just drop mail off at these places). so mother gets really mad at me. i think she realized later that it wasn't really anyone's fault and just a miscommunication. gotta love those. i'm having one of those 'oh summer has gone by so fast" eek.