sooo i love this place, because it is perferct for procrastinating!yay! well lemme see lemme see...friday night went to coffee house which was great fun. I really wish i would've done it, but i get so intimidated for any kind of auditions, because i know there are people out there better than me. Ok.. promise to myself now...next year i'm doing it. ok done. mackenzie was there...it was weird..i guess i was being a bit cold..its hard to be all normal and peppy with her..when well i dunno. i'm really confused whether to just forget about what happened, what she did, accept that her apology was for real, and try to go on from where we left off. she said on friday that she told ryan she hates him and never to talk to her again...but its hard for me to believe. its like an alcoholic saying that they'll never drink again. she was there with keri, and keri's little bday group, and it was so weird, being at the same place as her, but not being with her. oh well i still had fun coffee house is one of the coolest things DM does. it really motivated me to practice piano more, so i could perform like that. saturday, i woke up early and went to tutor kids at crockett elementary. it was a lot of fun, these kids, oh, its so sad to see how they live. some of them didn't speak barelly any english, so i tried to talk to them in spanish. i realized how horrible my spanish is! that also motivated me to know my spanish better. an A in that class doens't mean you can speak the language! there was this black kid there, not chocolate brown, but i mean realy hardcore black. like no white genes have touched his DNA. he was just beautiful, i couldn't stop looking at him. (don't take that as a weird pedophile way, he was about 7 or 8) i am so glad things between stefanie and i are better, she's a fun girl, and i can really enjoy tcty and nfty things now. right after tutoring i got my hair cut, and its not that drastic of a change, not my normal short bangs tha ti sweep to the side, but it hink it looks nice. then i went to the mall (yippie!) and had some fun buying warm clothes for santa fe, including 1 warm courdoy jacket with fffuuurrr on the inside from gap 2 thermal long sleeve shirts from a&f 1 sweater from a&f 1 pants from AE 1 shirt from AE and as usualy, nothing says 'abercrombie' or 'american eagle' on it, because i hate those shirts, i feellike a walking billboard when i wear them. well, my busy saturday continued, i was out from 9-6, and at 6.20 i was picked up to babysit, and that was good and dandy fun. today, i went on more errands with my mother. got some stuff, got ina bit of a stiff with my mom but its all good. then went to sophomore class movie night at josh's house, which was very fun. i accidently spilled coke all over amanda's shirt and i felt sooooo bad for it. i was reaching behind brooke to hug her, and i didn't notice that she was holding a cup of soda, and i knocked it and it spilled over amanda's white shirt, and i think amanda started crying. and i feel sooo stupid, because thats just what i do, ruin someone's nice things, or ruin their night or something. i SUCK! i think she didn't like me for that night because of it, for example when i came outside and got on the trampoline, she got off and went inside so while on the trampoline, josh was talking about how i didn't sit next to him during movie night at LTI, and how i need to make it up for him, and i asked what, and of course, he was asking about sexual favors. and then the talk went on with things like that, and i felt weird, because i'm just not like that, i don't go around hooking up with the people for the hell of it. i mean , i love josh and all, and i know he was joking, but still. and then dan, being dan, just said 'i've always had this urge to hook up with you, and i know the last tcty event of senior year, it will be magical' oy dan. well i guess i really do need to my kumka essay (YUCK!) but one more thing I LEAVE ON WEDNESDAY FOR SANTAFE!!! THATS IN...UMM...3 DAYS!