you can't tell me rent isn't awesome. Bohemia, Bohemia's A fallacy in your head This is Calcutta Bohemia is dead (The BOHEMIANS immediately begin to enact a mock funeral, with MARK delivering the "eulogy.") MARK Dearly beloved we gather here to say our goodbyes COLLINS AND ROGER Dies irae -- dies illa Kyrie eleison Yitgadal v' yitkadash, etc. MARK Here she lies No one knew her worth The late great daughter of mother earth On this night when we celebrate the birth In that little town of Bethlehem We raise our glass -- you bet your ass to -- (MAUREEN flashes hers.) La vie Boheme ALL La vie Boheme La vie Boheme La vie Boheme La vie Boheme MARK To days of inspiration Playing hookie, making something out of nothing The need to express -- To communicate, To going against the grain, Going insane Going mad To loving tension, no pension To more than one dimension, To starving for attention, Hating convention, hating pretension Not to mention of course, Hating dear old mom and dad To riding your bike, Midday past the three piece suits To fruits -- to no absolutes -- To Absolut -- to choice -- To the Village Voice -- To any passing fad ALL La vie Boheme La vie Boheme (JOANNE enters.) MAUREEN Is the equipment in a pyramid? JOANNE It is, Maureen MAUREEN The mixer doesn't have a case Don't give me that face (MAUREEN smacks JOANNE's ass as she exits. MR. GREY reacts.) MR. GREY Ahhemm MAUREEN Hey Mister -- she's my sister RESTAURANT MAN So that's five miso soup, four seaweed salad Three soy burger dinner, two tofu dog platter And one pasta with meatless balls A BOY Ugh COLLINS It tastes the same MIMI If you close your eyes RESTAURANT MAN And thirteen orders of fries Is that it here? ALL Wine and beer! MIMI AND ANGEL To hand-crafted beers made in local breweries To yoga, to yogurt, to rice and beans and cheese To leather, to dildos, to curry vindaloo To huevos rancheros and Maya Angelou MAUREEN AND COLLINS Emotion, devotion, to causing a commotion Creation, vacation MARK Mucho masturbation MAUREEN AND COLLINS Compassion, to fashion, to passion when it's new COLLINS To Sontag ANGEL To Sondheim FOUR PEOPLE To anything taboo COLLINS AND ROGER Ginsberg, Dylan, Cunningham and Cage COLLINS Lenny Bruce ROGER Langston Hughes MAUREEN To the stage PERSON #1 To Uta PERSON #2 To Buddha PERSON #3 Pablo Neruda, too MARK AND MIMI Why Dorothy and Toto went over the rainbow To blow off Auntie Em ALL La vie Boheme (JOANNE returns.) MAUREEN And wipe the speakers off before you pack JOANNE Yes, Maureen MAUREEN Well -- hurry back (MAUREEN and JOANNE kiss.) MR. GREY Sisters? MAUREEN We're close (ANGEL jumps on top of COLLINS, who's on the table. They kiss.) ANGEL, COLLINS, MAUREEN, MARK, MR. GREY Brothers! MARK, ANGEL, MIMI AND THREE OTHERS Bisexuals, trisexuals, homo sapiens, Carcinogens, hallucinogens, men, Pee Wee Herman German wine, turpentine, Gertrude Stein Antonioni, Bertolucci, Kurosawa Carmina Burana ALL To apathy, to entropy, to empathy, ecstasy Vaclav Havel -- The Sex Pistols, 8BC, To no shame -- never playing the Fame Game COLLINS To marijuana ALL To sodomy, It's between God and me To S and M (MR. GREY walks out.) BENNY Waiter...Waiter...Waiter ALL La vie Boheme there's more but yea.