Part One. If all of summer could be like today, I really wouldn't mind. Though of course, we have even better things planned. And for that, I'm excited. Today was nice. I feel like everyone is pairing up respectively and nicely. And she has found another someone on the outside with whom she feel content, and so I don't feel as threatened or jealous or guilty anymore. There are some changes I have to include about my last entry. I did not get to see Clarence and Allen yesterday. But I did get to hang solo with my Jacob -- Ughh, I refuse to make Twilight references! I just mean that he's the most comfortable guy I've ever met. It was the most interesting conversation. After my plans fell through, Casey and I both knew each of us didn't have plans the next day, while everyone else did... and yet the conversation beat around the bush for so long... 12:52:10 AM casey: Ugh casey: Gotta figure out what to do manana, I don't want to be home -.- Irene: Me neither xD casey: Let's go get high together xD Irene: loll Irene: errday? X_X casey: Nah, just tomorrow Irene: loll Irene: I don't do high casey: then let's get elevated o: Irene: lmfao Irene: And get struck by lightening. AM Irene: *lightning 12:54:22 AM casey: errday I'll tell anyone else that that night I was just waiting on purpose to give a shy boy the opportunity to "man up" and ask me... but honestly, I was too insecure to ask him myself. I was scared of being too aggressive or too forward toward a boy that probably didn't care much for me anyway... 12:59:28 AM Irene: Instead of spending your time doing a job, you can spend it elsewhere! casey: I could, but I'm pretty sure everyone is gonna be busy so I'mma be like FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK Irene: You assume xP Irene: I'm not going to be busy until I leave for summer camp because my parents both work in the summer and leave me home alone DX Irene: I was you last year xD AM Irene: I plan on getting out this summer D:< casey: I wanna get out, but I don't think I'll follow up on that xP Irene: Why not!? casey: Lazy hermit xD Irene: Well then that's legitly your fault XP ]casey: Definitely, I never denied it o: Irene: lmao, Ima kidnap you and drop you in some godforsaken desolate place in Manhattan and make you find your way back home! D:< casey: Subway system is ridiculously easy to navigate xP Irene: The godforsaken desolate place is not near the subway system foo'! casey: Everywhere in Manhattan has the subway system casey: Try Queens or Staten island next time xP Irene: You're an ass. xD casey: Really? I wasn't aware of that! D: Irene: xDDD Irene: Get out more you lazy bum! :O casey: I'll try x.x casey: I just don't want to go anywhere on my own. that shit's mad boring xP Irene: I go with you XD casey: I can live with that :D 1:05:43 AM Irene: Ditto xD "I go with you." I gave in on this one. I really needed to open the window towards spending more time with him this summer. He's so comfortable, easy to talk to, even if our topics are as random as hell, haha. But I like his sense of humor. Most of the time, it's dirty like mine. 1:08:11 AM Irene: Wow, immensely uneventful XD casey: Really, it's like -_- Irene: Mhm. Irene: -_- casey: Well then casey: if it's gonna be that boring why don't we find something to do, I'm pretty sure we both don't want to be stuck home ._. 1:09:37 AM Irene: :O We can do that Finally. The response I was looking for the entire time haha! Sheesh, how hard was that!? XD. I was really happy to hear him say that. I have to confess that I've never successfully really been out alone with a boy. The ones I meet or know just aren't nice enough, or interesting enough, of comfortable enough for me to want to be with. - - - - - - - - - - But the next morning, THE WORLD WAS FLOODING. 10:10:04 AM Irene: Good morning xD 10:10:13 AM casey: Morning! 10:10:20 AM Irene: It's pouring like fuck outside lmfao. 10:10:28 AM casey: Yeah, it is x.x 10:10:40 AM Irene: Haha 10:12:01 AM Irene: I wonder what the weather is tomorrow DX 10:12:14 AM casey: Probably a bit lighter, but still somewhat heavy x.x 10:12:26 AM Irene: The seasons a little behind, haha. 10:12:32 AM casey: Seriously x.x 10:12:44 AM casey: Damn you raaaain 10:12:48 AM Irene: haha 10:13:35 AM Irene: DX 10:13:49 AM Irene: I don't know if I should go out and run an errand or not lol 10:13:58 AM Irene: I don't mind the rain, but I'm wondering if I"ll finally get to it and practice today! 10:14:26 AM casey: So you don't wanna go today? x.x 10:14:32 AM Irene: Can we still? XD 10:14:40 AM Irene: But only if you're up for it 10:14:51 AM casey: Of course I am, I'm pretty much dressed already xD 10:14:55 AM Irene: LMAO SAME HERE 10:14:58 AM Irene: LET'S DO THIS. Notice the pauses in time, haha. I knew he didn't really like the rain. I still got ready, tried to put on make up, got dressed, all the while predicting that this second plan might fall through. I didn't know how to say that I still wanted to go with him, regardless, but luckily, he asked first. I'm glad to say that he surprised me. We went to New Roc. At first, we missed the 11 AM bus and had to wait about an hour and 20 minutes for the next one. It was one of those "It's only awkward if you make it awkward!" periods in time, and we filled it with casual conversation. I desperately wanted to lean on him -- I never like just standing there -- but we weren't comfortable yet. And it was POURING LIKE FUCK that day. We both got soaked. Unfortunately, we weren't comfortable enough to share umbrellas yet either, unfortunately, haha. To kill time, I walked him over and across my old neighborhood, using that conversation to fill the time. I showed him my key to the church, going inside to pick up some sheet music. We got back in time to catch the bus. And I was already wet, with my flats soaked to their core xD. We decided to watch a movie, Angels and Demons to be exact. I was hoping that the theater would be completely empty -- who knows what we would have done, lol -- but unfortunately, there were like four other people sitting in various places. We picked a spot all the way in the back, in the center. And I think it was luck that the armrest between us was broken and wouldn't go down, lol. I got to lean on him after all. The dark helped us get comfortable, and I sat the way I usually sit, unconventional but comfy, and we made casual commentary on the movie, and my positions, and we made casual physical contact and gestures as we got closer together. I also noticed that he began looking straight into my eyes more. It was nice to see light reflected in them as we sat in a completely dark room. We were both satisfied with seeing a GOOD MOVIE for once. When we got back on the bus, I felt like that kind of tired you get after you've just done something worthwhile. The conversation was better this time, with a little bit more touching. Casual touching with Casey is the most comfortable and satisfying touching with a guy I've ever had. Well, the only kind of touching I've ever had, smh. It fortunately turned out that we shared another bus. We got on that one, finally sitting in two seats that were next to each other. We talked some more, I don't remember what about, but then he started petting my head, and commented how Moleca said that felt good. But it was humid that day, and I didn't like him touching my messy hair that reminded me of how insecure I am about my looks. I told him so, haha. There were hugs involved somewhere -- he likes to give those :] -- and at one point, I told him that my idea of comfortable was leaning. And he put his arm around my shoulder, and I leaned into him, really close to his face. When I didn't think too hard, I forgot how insecure I am about my horrible skin, even when I looked straight into his eyes as we talked. I couldn't see where I was getting off. I shifted myself up for a minute, trying to see where I would get off, and he put his arm around me again when I settled back down. "I think I'm getting off soon!" I said. "Yeah, but even three more seconds would be better than nothing," he said, slipping his arm around my shoulders. I hope he liked the way it felt just as much as I did. When my stop came, it was obvious that we both didn't want to get off the damn bus. It was too comfortable. It was time for the "really big hug" that he likes to give me, and then when I leaned in, he tilted his head and gave me a kiss on my cheek, which was actually covered by my hair in my face. But it was really nice. He stood up when I got off. I crossed the street on the side that he must have been looking out the window on, and I walked confidently, having just had a wonderful day. It was great. That night, though, I was feeling paranoid again. We spent an entire day together, just by ourselves. Would talking to him on AIM be too much for a day? Did he even have fun with me? I knew that some points were awkward, but those rose-colored glasses really helped me convince myself that the day had been nice. It wasn't until later that night that his away saying, "Today was a good day" made me feel a little better. Though I vowed that we would have more fun the next time, now that we had crossed some physical boundaries. I just didn't know how I would help bring that about X_X. 2:04:34 AM Irene: Good night :] 2:04:57 AM casey: Take care, sweet dreams! I hope you had a good day today ;D ♥ 2:05:12 AM Irene: I did have a good day! I hope you did too xD ♥ 2:05:21 AM casey: Of course I did :D 2:05:26 AM Irene: :D :D 2:05:28 AM casey: ttyl ;O 2:05:32 AM Irene: Yay xD 2:05:35 AM Irene: See you later X_X 2:05:50 AM casey: Haha, true. See you in like 9 hours xP 2:05:56 AM Irene: Mhm xD 2:05:58 AM Irene: C ya ^__^ I was glad, to say the least. Oh, and can I mention something? His use of hearts in conversation kills me. xD.