What follows is my first attempt at writing just for the sake of... writing.

I tried to do a stream of consciousness like Jed suggested, but... well, my thoughts aren't random, lol. So I just started writing after a bit. He also suggested I go to the park, but this early in the morning, all the workers are across the street working on things. My fire escape (which was a bitch to clean after being unused for so long!) was almost a cockblock, but I worked with it and I’m glad I did.

He suggested I do this by hand. “There’s a difference between writing and typing,” he said. “You can’t take back what you’ve written down. Unless you’re writing in pencil. Then that’s just cheating.”

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missing date freedom caged always smoke attempt hunger hidden up high princess worthless blind attack first outsider detached breeze scream fail illegal dangerous obstacle not flowing air surrounding cage reminder freedom sparse dirt fly unnoticed secret hidden unknown

...

It is an unknown date.

All I know is that it’s been about a year, maybe more, since I’ve been out on this ledge.

Even my ledge is caged.

Someone is fixing something downstairs. It sounds like they’re trying to break in through the gates.

There’s something I like about being at a great height.

I’m still hungry. For many things.

Food. Peace. Company. Freedom. Love.

Above all: Life.

I wonder how many people will see me or have seen me on this ledge. I wonder if seeing me made any difference to them.

Could they see my pen moving from so far away?

The wind knows I’m here. She keeps trying to blow me off this ledge.

But she can’t. It is caged.

We all can fly but we don’t have wings.

My hand hurts. It’s not used to purging. It’s had it easy.

Come summer, I bet Life will be beautiful.

Yet even now, there is something beautiful about oxygen.

I wish I could notice more beautiful things.

The skies are clear today.

And I’ve just noticed that I’ve taken no more than two steps onto this ledge.

To my right, one ladder leads up while another leads down.

And I’ve never taken any of them.

End of a page. That’s all for today.

I’ll stay here awhile longer.