So tonight, I feel alone. I just..I miss having someone..particularly a special someone...and I hate myself right now...because I fuck things up...not like, the whole reason we broke up (which I did screw up big time), but *sigh*..I just wish I wasn't so flip-flop on things..I ask her to stop pushing things..and now I never know what she's thinking...she used to be able to tell my mood no matter what..just by the way I type...but...now she never says anything...and it's my fault...I just..I dno..I can't tell if she notices or if she's just trying to be nice and do what I want...I love her for that...that she cares about me and tries to make me happy...I just..*sigh*...I can't seem to be myself around her anymore....this is really starting to kill me....I don't know what to say/do or how to act anymore..and it's crazy...cause nothing's really changed..I just miss the way it was a long time ago.....you know...we went out for the first time about 2 years ago...isn't that crazy? How much has passed since then....*sigh*...so much that I miss....it's just..I dno...sad? *sigh* I just wish I could let out the way I really feel... Tonight, I want to cry. alone in this house again tonight i got the tv on, the sound turned down and a bottle of wine there's pictures of you and i on the walls around me the way that it was and could have been surrounds me i'll never get over you walkin' away i've never been the kind to ever let my feelings show and i thought that bein' strong meant never losin' your self control but i'm just drunk enough to let go of my pain to hell with my pride let it fall like rain from my eyes tonight i wanna cry would it help if i turned a sad song on "all by myself" would sure hit me hard now that you're gone or maybe unfold some old yellow lost love letters it's gonna hurt bad before it gets better but i'll never get over you by hidin' this way cause i've never been the kind to ever let my feelings show and i thought that bein' strong meant never losin' your self control but i'm just drunk enough to let go of my pain to hell with my pride let it fall like rain from my eyes tonight i wanna cry i've never been the kind to ever let my feelings show and i thought that bein' strong meant never losin' your self control but i'm just drunk enough to let go of my pain to hell with my pride let it fall like rain from my eyes tonight i wanna cry