I don't know how to explain the mood I'm in. I guess in a way I'm hurt, but in a way I'm wiser. I don't really understand, I guess I never will, but I do understand that I don't get it anymore. "Nothing ever stays the same, life's about changing." And sometimes, people change in different ways...it is possible to fall out of love..it just hurts more when the other person does it. *sigh* I can't take much more of this, and I'm thinking that this weekend's gonna be the last time I'm ever around Rachel...I hate to do that, and I'll miss her, but there's no way I continue my life with her still in it unless we're still in love...and she's not. I'm fairly sure she'll read this, and I don't want her to appologize or feel bad or anything. It just finally hit me like a fucking builder that it'll never work as friends...so for me at least, it's all or nothing...and as much as I wish I could hold her in my arms again, knowing it's all, knowing SHE's all, I know that it's nothing, and it never will be. *sigh* To bed...